


Living in a Fable

by Janis_Sarkisian



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Foster Care, Multi, Referenced murder, Referenced suicide, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, fosterkid!Janis, fosterparents!Veronica and Mac, janis needs a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-08-20 10:23:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 39,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16553990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janis_Sarkisian/pseuds/Janis_Sarkisian
Summary: Eventually they pull up in front of a nicely sized house, and Janis hesitantly steps out, her backpack hanging off of one shoulder as Mrs. Norbury moves to get her suitcase from the trunk. She notices someone peeking out of the curtains, and the door is open before they even make it up the front path.Janis finds herself in the care of Veronica and Heather M.





	1. In the faintest cry

Janis leans her head against the cool glass of the car window, watching the houses and yards blend into one another. Her social worker had long given up trying to talk to her, opting instead to turn on the radio and quietly sing along rather than sit in the awkward silence. It wasn’t that Janis didn’t like Mrs. Norbury--she did. Quite a lot--but she just wasn’t in the mood for talking, not after the afternoon she’d had. There was only one way to feel when an adoption falls through and Janis was definitely letting herself wallow in the anger.

“We’re almost there,” Her social worker says. Janis doesn’t respond. She doesn’t care what happens, really. She wouldn’t care if they were driving for five more hours. “You’ll love it here, I promise.”

Janis snorts, shaking her head slightly as she keeps her gaze trained out of the window. Loving a place doesn’t mean jack shit, not when they can just build up your hope before tossing you out like trash. She’s not going to get comfortable at this placement, she won’t let herself. After all, there’s nothing that will tie her to whatever couple she’s going to be staying with. They’re not in the process of adopting her, and she hasn’t been staying with them for nearly two years. She feels tears welling up and closes her eyes to keep them back. They don’t deserve her tears.

Eventually they pull up in front of a nicely sized house, and Janis hesitantly steps out, her backpack hanging off of one shoulder as Mrs. Norbury moves to get her suitcase from the trunk. She notices someone peeking out of the curtains, and the door is open before they even make it up the front path.

The woman gives a big grin to the pair stood on her doorstep, dressed in a pair of ripped jeans and a comfy looking yellow sweater. She steps back from the door, gesturing for both Janis and Mrs. Norbury to come in. Mrs. Norbury takes the invitation first, but Janis pauses, glancing over her shoulder. She could make a run for it if she really wanted to; she has clothes and toiletries in her backpack, and a little bit of cash that she’d been saving for an emergency. The thought is brief and quickly pushed away--it’s a lot of effort to just be caught in a couple of days, and nothing would be solved. She’d only be brought back and in a hell of a lot of trouble. She steps in, shrugging off her coat as the woman closes the door behind her.

“I’m Heather,” she says warmly, taking Janis’s coat from her and hanging it on the coat rack. Janis toes off her shoes and places them on the shoe rack. “Veronica’s in the kitchen if you’d like to go through?”

Veronica is dressed entirely in blue, smiling at Janis as they make eye contact. She gestures towards a plate of cookies on the counter, but Janis just shakes her head and moves out of the way of Heather and Mrs. Norbury as they step into the kitchen.

“So, you must be Janis?” Veronica asks once they’re all seated around the dining table, the adults sipping at cups of coffee whilst Janis has a glass of lemonade. Freshly squeezed, she noticed. “I’m Veronica, and this is my wife Heather as you already know. We want you to know that we’re very happy to have you here.”

“Cool.” Janis huffs, sliding down in her seat a little, tapping her fingers against the glass of juice. She’s not interested in getting to know them, she just wants to shut herself away in her new room and be left alone.

“V and I understand that you’ve had a rough day,” Heather doesn’t look put off by Janis’s response, leaning across the table. “And we also want you to know that you’re welcome here for as long as you want to be. We’re not going to--”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard all of this before and look where I am,” Janis snaps, ignoring the shocked look of the couple across from her. She feels a twinge of guilt in her gut but pushes it aside, focusing on the anger instead. “I just want to see my room and be left alone for a bit. Is that too much to ask for?”

“Janis, you didn’t ask for anything like that--” Heather starts, looking almost wounded. Veronica cuts her off.

“Your room is upstairs. First room on the left,” She says. “It’s kind of bare at the moment, but we thought that you could decorate it yourself. We hear that you love art.”

“I do.” Is all that Janis says before she stands up and storms out of the kitchen.

She can hear Mrs. Norbury apologizing as she climbs the stairs, but she can’t really find it within herself to care if she’d upset the pair. Maybe she’d care later, but right now? She couldn’t care less.

The door swings open with a gentle push, and Janis understands what the woman meant by it looking bare. The walls were a pale green, matching with the comforter on the bed. There was a wardrobe pushed up against the left wall and by the window was a desk. There was an empty bookcase and, next to it, something that made Janis’s heart soar, an easel with a blank canvas and several bottles of paint underneath it. She drops her suitcase and backpack by the door, gazing around at the room. It was nice, that was for sure.

But then she remembers her promise to herself: not to get comfortable, and she inhales sharply. The easel was just something to get her to trust them quicker, but she wasn’t going to fall for it. She shuts the door, rooting through her backpack for her phone charger before plugging it in and flopping down on the bed. Janis had made the decision on the way there that she wasn’t going to unpack straight away, just in case things went south quickly. She supposed that they had, what with her attitude and all, but they didn’t seem like they were going to send her away just yet. Maybe by the end of tonight they’d have enough of her though, and they’d have to take back what they’d said earlier. At least it wouldn’t hurt Janis this time.  
  
“Janis?” Mrs. Norbury knocks on the door a little later, pushing it open. “I’m going to leave now.”

“Okay.”

The social worker steps into the room, sitting on the end of Janis’s bed. There’s a moment of silence between them, not unlike during the car ride here, and Janis is just about to snap at the woman when she speaks up.

“I know you’re disappointed, hurt and angry. You have the right to be,” She says. “But you can’t take that out on Mrs. Sawyer and Mrs. McNamara, Janis. It’s not their fault that things fell through, and they’re trying. They’ve been waiting for you for a week and--”

“A week?” Janis repeats, her eyebrows raised. “You mean you’ve known about this whole thing for a week but you didn’t bother to tell me?! You just thought that it would be a good idea to tell me that things aren’t working out on the same day that you take me to a new placement?”

“I didn’t realize until I came to pick you up that you didn’t know what was going on,” Mrs. Norbury clears her throat. “They said they’d told you. I’m sorry, Janis, I really am.”

“You said you were leaving.” Janis stand abruptly, gesturing to the door. Mrs. Norbury nods, giving Janis’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze before she leaves.

Janis locks the door and falls back onto the bed. Tears burn the back of her eyelids, and she shoves her face into the pillow as she lets out an angry scream.

* * *

She doesn’t remember falling asleep, but she’s woken up by someone knocking on the door. Rolling off of the bed, she gets to her feet and crosses the room, unlocking the door and pulling it open just enough that she can peek through the gap and see who’s there.

It’s Veronica, giving the younger girl a gentle smile.

“Heather and I don’t really want to cook tonight,” she says. “We thought we’d order in and let you choose what we get. Is that okay? If not I’m sure I can force myself to scramble something up, although I’m definitely no chef.”

“Pizza,” Janis says after a minute. “Can we get pizza?”

“Sure thing,” Veronica nods. “Do you want to come downstairs and write out what you want? I’ll phone up--Heather isn’t really one for phone calls-- and whilst we’re waiting for it to be delivered we can have a look on _Netflix_ and see what movies there are. Does that sound good?”

“It sounds alright.” Janis shrugs and follows Veronica downstairs.

Janis writes down her order on a legal pad in the kitchen, and heads into the living room at Veronica’s instructions. She flops down into the armchair opposite to the one that Heather was curled up in, and manages to return the blonde woman’s smile. She’s still angry and pissed off, but she decides not to push it any further this evening. Like Mrs. Norbury says, it’s not their fault and being nice for one evening isn’t going to kill her.

Veronica joins them a couple of minutes later, informing them that the pizza had been ordered. They spend the time waiting like Veronica had suggested upstairs, flicking through _Netflix_ and the movies on there. Janis watches as Heather and Veronica joke back and forth between each other and at some points she almost feels as if she’s intruding. They don’t force her to talk which she appreciates, adding in a comment here and there when they’re just about to settle on a movie that ends up getting vetoed, but she’s mainly quiet. She doesn’t really care about what they watch to be honest and when they settle on _Love, Simon_ she doesn’t argue.

They eat their pizza in the living room once it arrives, and Janis is surprised to find that she has a whole pizza and a side of potato wedges to herself. She manages half of the wedges and two slices of pizza before she’s too full and she leaves the pizza box on the counter, telling Veronica and Heather that she’ll have some more for lunch tomorrow.

She settles back down to finish off the second movie they’d decided to watch and when the credits roll and she stands to stretch out her legs, she notices that Heather is asleep on the couch. She shares a look with Veronica before gathering up the empty glasses of soda and taking them out into the kitchen, trying to be as helpful as she can. It doesn’t quite make up for her rudeness earlier, but she’s not ready to outright apologize yet.

“You should probably get ready for bed,” Veronica says softly once she returns to the living room. Janis watches as she scoops Heather into her arms. “The bathroom is the first door up the stairs and there’s toiletries in there if you need them.”

“Okay, thanks.” Janis nods, stifling a yawn before heading upstairs. As she’s brushing her teeth she hears Veronica ascending the stairs slowly and smiles to herself.

Maybe she could get used to this, she thinks as she changes into her pajamas and crawls under the covers. They seemed nice, and they hadn’t held her outburst earlier against her. But, she reminds herself, it’s only the first day, and there’s still time for her to fuck up even more. Time for them to change their minds about having her around.

It’d be stupid for her to get her hopes up this early on, considering the reasons that she was here. If two years could just be tossed to the wind then so could one good evening and a movie night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As requested, I have made a [tumblr](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/) feel free to follow and interact with me on there!


	2. I find it hard to say the things I want to say the most

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentions of blood

Janis doesn’t wake up until nearly midday. She’s surprised that nobody had woken her up, and rushes about getting dressed and presentable so that she can go downstairs and grab a few slices of the leftover pizza.

There’s nobody in the kitchen when she enters, but she can hear the TV playing in the living room so she assumes that that’s where Heather and Veronica are. It takes her a while to finally find the plates, and when she does she takes two slices of pizza and sets herself down at the table with a glass of water. She eats in silence, scrolling through her phone as she does so, and she’s just about to get up when Heather enters the kitchen.

“Oh, you’re awake! Good morning,” She says, taking Janis’s plate and empty glass away. “Did you sleep well?”

“I slept fine.” Janis shrugs.

“Ronnie told me that you helped her clean up last night,” Heather says. “Thanks for that. Sorry for falling asleep, I’m definitely the lame mom.”

“You’re _not_ my mom,” Janis says quickly, standing up. Her hands curl into fists. She notices Veronica leaning against the doorway and drops her gaze down to the table, although her voice still hold the same amount of anger when she speaks again. “Neither of you are my moms—”

“We know, Janis,” Veronica says, moving towards her. “Heather didn’t mean it like that. You don’t have to think of us as, or call us, your moms. We understand.”

And Janis hates the patronizing tone that Veronica’s voice has taken on, and shrugs off the hand that the woman placed on her shoulder. There’s a beat of silence where she considers storming off, but instead she just drops down into her chair, glaring at the tablecloth. There’s no point. Veronica takes a seat opposite Janis, leaning slightly forward as she talks.

“Heather and I thought that it would be a good ideas to go shopping with you today,” She says. “For stationery and school—”

“I’ve already got everything,” Janis lies. “So no thanks.”

“I know you have things from your previous school, and you can keep on using them if you’d like,” Veronica nods. “But I think that you should still take a look at the supply list just in case. You don’t have to come out with us if you don’t want to, you can just write what you need down and we can get it.”

Janis studies the slip of paper that Veronica slides over, hesitating a little bit before she takes it. She reads over it, trying to remember what she has shoved at the bottom of her backpack and it’s silent in the kitchen as she does so. She can feel the gazes of Heather and Veronica on her and shifts awkwardly in her seat as she mentally checks off what she has.

“I need some more pens, a protractor and a ruler.” she admits. Heather hands her the legal pad, and she jots it down.

“Thank you, Janis,” Veronica smiles as she rips off the paper Janis had written on. “Are you sure you want to stay here?”

“Positive.” Janis says, maybe a bit too forcefully by Heather’s expression.

“We’ll be back as soon as possible, okay? You’re welcome to anything from the refrigerator or the cupboards,” Veronica stands, wrapping an arm around Heather’s shoulders. “If there’s any trouble, which I’m sure that there won’t be, just call us. Our phone numbers are on the refrigerator.”

“Will do.” Janis nods, watching them both as they leave the kitchen and pause by the door to put their shoes and coats on. Janis has to give Veronica her dues--she’s not biting to any of Janis’s shit.

After an hour or so of lazing about, Janis decides to leave the house. She scribbles them a not on the legal pad, informing them that she hasn’t run away, she’s just on a walk, and then grabs her phone and headphones from upstairs before setting off. She walks aimlessly, knowing nothing about the neighborhood at all, and ends up sat on a bench just outside of a (thankfully empty) play park.

She unzips her backpack and pulls out her sketch pad and pencils, flipping to an empty page. Drawing has always been something she’s enjoyed, always been something that she’s used to express herself. But now she can’t flip through her sketch pad because it’s filled with drawings of _them_. Of the couple that almost gave her everything, only to snatch it away and leave her in the dust. The mere thought of them brings tears to her eyes and this time she can’t hold them back.

Janis flips the sketch pad closed, shoving it into her bag as she stands and hurries away from the bench, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Of course it had to be now, in public, that her emotions got the better of her.  
  
In her hurry she catches her own foot, sending her sprawling to the floor. As she climbs to her feet, hiccuping sobs escaping her throat, she notices her palms are scraped to shit and she can feel that it’s the same with her elbows and knees.

Still, she takes of running again, practically sprinting back to the house and unlocks the door with shaky hands. Just as she’s kicking her shoes off, the door opens and Veronica and Heather return.

 _Of course_ , Janis thinks bitterly, _geez, God must really hate me_.

There’s a minute of silence as they stare at her and she stares back, mortified that they’re seeing her teary-eyed and blotchy faced, but then it’s broken as she turns on her heel and runs up the stairs with one shoe still on. She can hear Veronica and Heather yelling her name as she slams her door shut behind her and locks it, sliding down to the floor as the concerned voices keep calling out.

It’s like something out of some angsty teen movie, Janis thinks bitterly as she sniffs and leans her head back on the door. Eventually Heather and Veronica stop trying, and after a while, when she’s calmer, Janis stands up.

“Janis?” Heather’s voice is faint but it’s there, and Janis realizes that the blonde woman must be sat outside her door. She probably heard her moving. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Janis answers softly, kicking her other shoe into the corner. She’s too tired to fight back.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Janis moves to unlock the door, leaving it up to Heather whether or not she wanted to enter. The woman did, wrapping an arm around Janis’s shoulders as she guides the teenager to the bed. Janis has to force herself not to cry again, keeping her gaze down on her jeans as Heather waits for a response.

“It’s not what you guys think it is,” Janis says, turning her hands over to show Heather her bloodied palms. “I just--I was walking outside and I fell. It hurt like hell so I came back to clean myself up when you guys walked in. I just panicked and ran. It was stupid and--”

“It’s not stupid, Janis,” Heather says gently, taking one of Janis’s hands to assess the damage. “There’s a first aid kit in the bathroom,” she says. “I’m not very good at this stuff, but I’m sure that Ronnie will be able to help you clean yourself up if you want?”

“Okay. Sure.” Janis nods.

* * *

She ends up sitting on the counter in the bathroom in a pair of shorts and a tank top, wincing as Veronica dabs at the grazes. Heather hovers in the door, watching on, and Janis is starting to think that it was a bad idea to accept the help--she’s more than capable of doing this herself--but she’s too far into it now and it would be rude to ask Veronica to leave her alone.

God, it’s only the second day and she’s already fucked up.

“You really did a number on yourself,” Veronica hums as she unwraps a bandaid and places it over her knee. Janis doesn’t know if the annoyance she can detect in the woman’s voice is real or just her being paranoid. “Be more careful next time, or you won’t be able to leave the house without either me or Heather to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.” It’s a weak attempt at a joke, but Janis forces herself to smile anyway.

“Well I didn’t exactly plan it,” Janis shrugs. “But yeah, sure, whatever.”

Veronica chuckles as she unwraps a second bandaid, placing it on Janis’s other knee. She steps back, takes in the girl’s palms, elbows and knees, all covered in bandaids, and shuts the first aid kit, tucking it back under the sink. She holds out her hand to help Janis down and Janis takes it hesitantly.

“We still need to get you sorted for school tomorrow,” Heather says as Janis starts to head back to her room, intending to shut herself in again like she’d done the day before. “We have the things you asked for downstairs. If you bring the rest of your things we can make sure you have everything? Better to make sure now rather than realize you don’t have something tomorrow morning.”

Janis begrudgingly spends the next half an hour at the table with Heather and Veronica going through her school supplies. She can’t help but think that they’re being just a little bit overbearing, but it feels kind of nice so she doesn’t question it. They sit with her and go over the school rules, the dress code, the map and a copy of her schedule that they had had sent over and then printed off so that she didn’t have to find her way to the office tomorrow morning. Heather helps her choose things for and pack her lunch whilst Veronica cooks up dinner and for a minute it’s almost like Janis is back at home and she belongs somewhere.

She has to remind herself that this is not her family.

Over dinner--spaghetti with extra oregano, apparently Veronica’s favourite--she hears all about their shopping trip and how they are excited for Janis to start decorating her room. Janis has to admit that it sounds fun, but she’s not convinced that she’ll be there long enough for it to happen. She hates this, how yesterday morning she’d woken up belonging somewhere, knowing what her future was going to be and how in just over 24 hours that had all been dashed and flipped. She could just be moved at any time, sent to another foster parent and a new school with new people. It fucking sucks. Especially when it had come so suddenly.  
  
“Do you need waking up tomorrow morning?” Heather asks over dessert. “The bus leaves at 8, so you need to be up and ready by then.”

“No, I can get myself up,” Janis shakes her head, biting back a snarky remark that she’s 16, not 6. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“It’s not always easy being the new kid,” Veronica speaks up. “I know teenagers can be assholes sometimes,” she shares a glance with Heather. “I know that we were real pieces of work at your age, Janis, but if anything happens and you need to come home then just call either me or Heather and we’ll come and pick you up.”

“God, you guys are making it seem like I’m heading off into the wilderness for 6 months,” Janis rolls her eyes. “I told you that I’ll be fine and I mean it. It’s not as if I’ve never been a new kid before,” Just not in a while, she adds mentally. She finishes her ice cream, placing her bowl in the sink. “Anyway, I’m gonna shower and head to bed. I’ll see you in the morning I guess.”

“Goodnight Janis.” The women chorus as she leaves.

Janis isn’t particularly excited for her first day at Northshore High as she showers and gets ready for bed, but it is what it is. Even if nobody likes her it’s fine.

_It’s just high school._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)  
> Thank you for all of the support on the first chapter! I decided to upload this one early to say thank you! <3


	3. Oh, everything will be okay

After a morning of being fussed over, Janis finds herself at the bus stop a little over 5 minutes before the bus is due. There’s a few kids already there in small groups talking amongst themselves, but they don’t take any notice of Janis and she’s thankful for that.

When the bus pulls up they file on and Janis slides into an empty seat, resting her backpack on her lap. She lets her head fall to the side, leaning against the window, but any chance at catching a few extra minutes of sleep is dashed when someone sits down next to her, reaching out and tapping her shoulder.

“I’m Damian,” the boy introduces himself when she sits up, opening her eyes. “You’re the new kid?”

“Kids,” Janis corrects, smirking at the confusion on Damian’s face. “I’m actually 3 kids in a trenchcoat.”

“You’re not even wearing a trenchcoat,” Damian scoffs. “Anyway, I’m your buddy for today, Janis.”

“Buddy?” Janis raises her eyebrows. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I have the fun job of walking you to all of your classes,” Damian grins, digging into the front pocket of her backpack and pulling out her schedule. Janis just leans back in her seat and watched him. “We have most periods together anyway, so that’s cool. I also have to sit with you at lunch.”

Janis laughs, thinking it’s a joke at first. Then Damian frowns, tilting his head as if to as what was funny. Janis stops laughing.

“Wait, you’re serious? Don’t you have friends you sit with or something?”

“Why do you think that I’ve been assigned your buddy?” Damian shrugs. “I didn’t want to be—not that I don’t like you or anything, you seem pretty cool—but the guidance counsellor forced me to sign up for it.”

“Man that sucks,” Janis says. God, she knows what it’s like to be in the position. Knows it all too well. “I’ll be your friend.” She finds herself saying and fuck it, why not? She hasn’t had a proper friend for years and Damian seems nice.

So they become friends. By lunch they’re laughing and joking as if they’ve known each other for years and Janis is _happy_ for the first half of lunch at least. They tell each other about themselves, Janis skirts around the subject of her past but Damian doesn’t pry, and then Damian introduces her to everyone in the cafeteria. When he introduces Regina George her blood runs cold, and she glares daggers across the cafeteria.

“You know her already?” Damian asks.

“The bitch ruined 7th grade,” Janis mumbles, tearing her gaze away from the girl, looking down at her lunch box instead. “She still hasn’t grown out of ruining people’s lives?”

“Nope, she’s still going strong.”

And, honestly? That doesn’t surprise Janis at all. Regina has always been a stone cold bitch, even when they were friends.

“Listen, when she catches wind of me being here she’s gonna say things that aren’t true,” Janis pushing pieces of fruit around her bowl of fruit salad Heather had made her last night. “I mean, me being a lesbian? That’s true,” hell, Damian might as well know. Janis didn’t want to assume, but she was 99% sure he wasn’t straight. “But she’ll say things about my mom and _those_ things aren’t true.”

“About your mom?”

“It’s a long story,” Janis shakes her head, closing her eyes. “Just- none of its true, okay?”

“Okay,” Damian says softly, and then there’s an arm wrapped around Janis’s shoulder and she’s being pulled into an awkward hug. “Hey do you want to come to mine later? We can play Mario Kart in my basement.”

Janis declines his invitation purely because they’d only met that day. They’re friends, sure, but Janis didn’t know of his existence until this morning and she doesn’t want to move so fast. She knows they’re going to be close, knows that there’s going to be many more invitations and chances to play Mario Kart with him. Besides, she isn’t sure if Veronica and Heather would let her so soon and she doesn’t want to ask them in case they do say yes and it all goes horribly wrong. Damian doesn’t take it badly anyway, and they sit in the same position—Janis’s head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around her—for the rest of lunch, talking about anything and everything that isn’t Regina.

Janis is exhausted by the time the end of the school day rolls around. She naps on the bus, wrapped up in Damian’s coat, and he wakes her up when they reach their stop. He walks Janis to her house, the pair of them stopping at the top of her front path. They talk for a little bit more, and Janis feels a little bit guilty that she declined his invitation, but then he finally takes his jacket off and leaves. She watches him until he’s out of view.

When she enters the house Heather greets her, smirking as she asks her about Damian.

“He’s gay, Heather.” Is all Janis says as she kicks off her shoes.

Veronica’s loud laugh roars from the kitchen.

Janis heads upstairs intending to do some of the homework she’d been assigned but she ends up taking a nap instead. She wakes up and lays in bed for an hour, too tired to move over to her desk. As she’s scrolling through her Facebook feed she gets a friend request from one Damian Hubbard and quickly accepts it. Less than a minute later she gets a message.

 **Damian Hubbard:** gay

 **Janis Sarkisian:** like u

 **Damian Hubbard:** excuse me? i’m totally str8

 **Janis Sarkisian:** yeah, and regina is mother theresa

 **Damian Hubbard:** oof

And it’s not even a real conversation, not really, but it makes Janis smile nonetheless. She reacts to his message with a thumbs up and finally gets up, pocketing her phone. She wants a drink.

Walking downstairs she can smell something cooking and she’s embarrassed at how loud her stomach rumbles. Heather looks up as Janis enters the kitchen and when asked points the girl to the cupboard with the cups in. Janis thanks her and downs a cup of tap water, watching Veronica sat at the table typing something on her laptop.

“She’s writing serious emails,” Heather whispers when she catches Janis staring. “It’s best to leave her to it.”

“Cool.” Janis says and it occurs to her that she doesn’t know what either of them do for work. She doesn’t ask though—they’ll tell her sooner or later—and just grabs another cup of water before heading upstairs.

For the second time she sits at her desk but doesn’t get any homework done. In the amount of time it took her to get a drink, Damian has spammed their messages with animal videos and now Janis _has_ to sit and watch them all; she’d be a monster if she didn’t. She decides to pay him back, reacting to each video individually and in a separate message. He pays her back by typing in single letter messages and after a while of it Janis has to mute the conversation and leave her phone face down on her desk because _fuck_ , Damian is a _lot,_ and Janis isn’t sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

She’s called down to dinner not long after and leaves her phone upstairs. She’s grilled about school over the dinner table, not that she wasn’t expecting to be, and she tells them that it was all fine, everything was fine, even though it wasn’t because Regina George is there and Janis just knows that the girl is going to ruin her life again. The only thing Janis can find herself thinking, though, is that she hopes Damian doesn’t get dragged into it. He’s too good for that.

And maybe, she thinks briefly, Regina has forgotten about her. It’s a stupid thought—and she dismisses it quickly—but it still crosses her mind as a possibility. Regina George has been holding grudges since pre-K, there’s no way she’s forgotten about anything they did together or about her own betrayal of Janis’s trust. How Janis had told her, in confidence—Regina had pinky sweared—about her crush and how Regina had spread it around the whole school. Then, when Janis’s mom had marched up to the George’s household and demanded an apology, the rumors that Mrs. Sarkisian had slapped Regina (even though she’d never hurt either of them in her too short life).

Janis is still haunted by her mom’s tears in regard to that accusation. She’ll never forgive Regina for that. Ever.

The anger is still alive and burning in her belly when she bids goodnight to Heather and Veronica after packing her lunch for the next day, retreating to her room for the night. She messages Damian.

 **Janis Sarkisian:** so regina george  
 **Damian Hubbard:** what about the pink birch  
 bithc*  
BITCH*  
 **Janis Sarkisian:** lmao birch  
u wanna help me take her down?  
 **Damian Hubbard:** is that even a question? hell yes! how?  
 **Janis Sarkisian:** um idk  
like not right now  
in the future somehow  
 **Damian Hubbard:** janis u have my word  
that in the future  
even if we’re like 80  
 i will help u dethrone her  
 **Janis Sarkisian:** yesss thanks damian  
ur tits  
 **Damian Hubbard:** i will assume that’s a compliment  
 **Janis Sarkisian:** *thumbs up emoji**sparkling heart emoji*  
 **Damian Hubbard:** gay  
 **Janis Sarkisian:** mood  
 **Damian Hubbard:** once we’ve overthrown her can we throw a party  
 **Janis Sarkisian:** yes as long as it’s a revenge one  
 **Damian Hubbard:** ofc. a revenge party sounds tits  
 **Janis Sarkisian:** stop stealing my words  
 **Damian Hubbard:** never  
ok i’m tired i’m gonna sleep

 **Janis Sarkisian:** gn loser

 **Damian Hubbard:** night new kid

Janis sets her alarm and plugs her phone in to charge, begrudgingly leaving her bed to have a quick shower and brush her teeth. She has someone else on board now, someone else to help her topple Regina, and it feels good. There’s a million plans whizzing around in her head, and she thinks them through whilst she stares at the ceiling and tries to fall asleep. The problem is is that they all require someone to be close to Regina and neither her nor Damian are or could ever be.

So, she guesses, their revenge party will have to wait. Maybe it will be when they’re 80, who knows? All Janis knows is that it will be totally worth it to see Regina crushed. And maybe she should be scared of that thought, but she isn’t.

Regina deserves it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)  
> I have a 5,000 word essay due monday that’s currently sitting at a grand total 400 words but i wrote this instead. enjoy!!


	4. 'Bout time to raise up and petition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentions of dead parents
> 
> also, be warned, regina is _not nice_ in this fic!

It’s on the Friday that Janis first hears her name mumbled in the corridors. She knows that something isn’t quite right as soon as she gets on the bus—the glances she’s getting all throughout the ride set off the alarm bells in her head, and she whispers her suspicions to Damian who just nods and looks uneasy—-and it only gets worse once they reach the school. She grabs her books from her locker, and then ducks into the girls’ bathroom. Damian follows her, and they lock themselves into a stall.

“I’m not being paranoid am I?” She whispers, running a hand through her hair. “Looks like Regina’s finally noticed I’m here.”

“What’re you going to do?” Damian frowns. “Get revenge?”

“Not right now,” Janis shakes her head. “I just- I need to find out what she’s saying about me. If she’s saying things about my mom,” her voice shakes a little, and she pauses to take a deep breath. “Damian, my mom isn’t here to defend herself anymore and I’m not gonna let Regina drag her through the mud.”

“Of course not,” Damian squeezes her shoulder reassuringly. “Does… does Regina know?”

“About what? My mom being dead?” Janis asks. Damian nods. “I dunno,” she shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not. I moved straight away so I’m sure there were tons of rumors about why I left. I hope for her sake, if she is saying things about her, that she doesn’t know.”

“We can just skip if you want?” Damian says. “Go and get ice cream and—“

“No, I can’t,” Janis shuts her eyes, leaning her head back against the stall door. “That’s what Regina wants. I couldn’t care less what she says about me; I spent too much time being upset over it in 7th. It’s just my mom… you don’t understand Damian...” she snaps and trails off, letting out a frustrated groan. “It’s just important to me, okay? We’ve got to find out what she’s saying.”

She doesn’t give him time to answer before opening the door and storming out into the hallway, glaring at anyone who even looks her way. Damian trails behind her, and she feels slightly bad about snapping at him. They make it to first period just as the bell rings and she desperately tries to listen in on others’ hushed conversations. Something’s been said, and she _needs_ to know what it is.

It’s in third period that she finally catches a snippet of a conversation. She hears two words, “Janis’s mom”--all she needs to hear--and that’s all it takes for her blood to start boiling. She turns around to face Damian who’s staring at her with an unreadable expression she knows that he heard it too, she mouths to him to meet her in the bathroom and then raises her hand to get the lavatory pass.

It takes Damian more than 10 minutes to make it to the bathroom. Janis supposes it’s because she has the lavatory pass, but there’s only so long that the teacher can deny Damian’s request until it becomes unfair. She knows that she’ll probably get into trouble for this, but she doesn’t care. She needed to get out of that classroom before she did something that she would regret. She’s even angrier than she was almost a week ago when Mrs. Norbury told her to pack up her stuff, and she’s desperately counting on Damian to help calm her down--which isn’t really fair, she knows that, but every minute ticking by is making her angrier and angrier--so when she finally hears the door swing open and his voice call out, she’s more relieved than she should be.

“Listen, Janis, I really do think that we should skip,” he says once they’ve locked the stall. “Let’s just head back and tell him that you aren’t feeling very well, that I’m taking you to the nurse and then we can bounce.”

“No, Damian, I can’t,” Janis protests. “Regina got me pulled out of school for almost a _year_. I’m not missing any more time just because she wants to be a cold hearted bitch. You heard them! They were talking about my mom and I’m not going to let that slide.”

“Janis listen to me,” Damian says, placing his hands on her shoulders and giving her a little shake. “You’re going to do something that you’re going to regret. What Regina is doing is shitty and fucked up but fighting back isn’t going to make this any better. Not right now.”

“Well what else am I supposed to do?!” Janis yells, shoving Damian’s hands off of her shoulders. “You don’t understand what it’s like to watch your mom crying at the kitchen table because a 13 year old made false accusations about her. You don’t know what it’s like to be pulled out of school for a year because everyone hates you. You don’t--” And then Janis starts crying, falling forwards into Damian’s arms.

The lavatory pass clatters to the floor, and she grips onto Damian so tight because he’s all she has--her and him against the world--and _fuck she’d just yelled at him_ and _fuck he’s going to hate her after this_ and he gently lowers her to the floor, holding her and rubbing her back and _fuck she’s so lucky_ and they sit there until she calms down and she hears the bell ring but neither of them move and _god,_ she doesn’t _deserve_ Damian Hubbard.

“We should get going,” Janis sniffs, wiping at her eyes. Fourth period has already started, and their things are still back in the classroom. “I don’t know how we’re going to explain this, but--”

“Let’s just wait until lunch,” Damian shrugs. “We’ll just use the nurse excuse, but say that you’re feeling better now.”

“Okay.” Janis nods.

So they sit together on the bathroom floor in silence for most of the time and when the bell for lunch rings, they stand and hurry out of the bathroom before someone catches them. They head back to their third period classroom and Janis hangs in the doorway whilst Damian talks down the teacher. She doesn’t know what he’s saying, doesn’t really care, but he gets them off of the hook and that’s good enough for her. They collect their things, hand back the lavatory pass and meander down the corridor to the cafeteria. Janis stands with him in the lunch line instead of finding a table like she usually does, not wanting to be alone for once.

By some miracle they still find a table, despite the cafeteria getting more and more crowded with every passing minute. Janis picks at her food, not really hungry, as she listens to Damian ramble about something he saw on Twitter. It’s not really something that she’s interested in, but she listens anyway because it’s clear that Damian’s interested in it. She nods along with him, adds in comments here and there and even though she can’t recall what the conversation was about once they change topics, Damian seems happy and that’s all that Janis cares about in that moment.

She almost makes it to the end of lunch without punching Regina George.

_Almost._

And it isn’t like she planned on doing it, but she caught the blonde’s eye from across the room and that sent the anger from earlier sky rocketing. Before she knew it the words-- _Janis’s mom--_ were back in her head and she was ignoring Damian calling her name as she stalks across the cafeteria, fists clenched.

Regina greets her with a laugh eerily similar to a witches’ cackle, and then, when seeing Janis’s fists, the words that sent her over the edge: “Like mother like daughter, huh?”

And she would do it over and over again to see the look of pain and surprise on Regina’s face as she toppled backward off of the seat.

* * *

 

Janis gets suspended for a week.

She sits in the office, an ice pack on her knuckles as Mr. Duvall tells her how disappointed he is. Violence isn’t the answer, he tells her, she should’ve told a teacher about what Regina was saying. Janis has to hold back a scoff at that because it would’ve solved absolutely nothing. She rocks back in the chair she’s sitting in, doesn’t even react when she’s suspended. When she’s told to leave she does, closing the door with more force than necessary. Mr. Duvall makes it sound like it’s all her fault, and she bets that Regina George isn’t getting suspended. Of course she isn’t.

She scowls at the floor as she sits in the front office, ignoring the glances she gets from the receptionist. Her phone starts to buzz in her pocket, and she takes it out to see Veronica’s name on the screen. She takes a deep breath, pressing the phone to her ear after answering the call.

“Why have I just had a call from the school saying that you punched another girl?” She sounds furious and Janis feels her stomach sink. She hadn’t thought about this part.

“Because I did?” she finds herself saying.

“Janis this isn’t funny,” Veronica says. Janis sighs. “I’m coming to pick you up and we’re having a talk once we get home, alright?”

“Okay,” Janis nods. “I’ll see you.”

Veronica hangs up and Janis pockets her phone again, staring down at the tiled floor once more. Janis doesn’t know how she hadn't thought about how Veronica and Heather were going to react to this; Veronica is most definitely angry with her, and Janis doesn’t blame her, she knows she’s fucked up again, but Janis can’t decide how Heather will react. She’ll be angry, that’s a given, but Janis can’t see her yelling at her. She guesses that she’ll just have to wait and see.

Veronica marches into the office a little over twenty minutes later. She has a quick conversation with the receptionist, apologising for Janis’s actions, and then beckons for the girl to join her as she leaves the school and starts to head across the car park. Until they reach the car it’s just silence, and then as Janis is pulling the door open, Veronica speaks.

“I’m angry, Janis,” she says. “I didn’t, in a million years, think that I’d be called out of work because you’d punched someone.”

And Janis knows that the words are deserved, but they still send her into defense mode. “She _deserved_ it,” she says. “I’m not sorry about it.”

“Yes you are,” Veronica says raising her eyebrows. “Heather and I are going to talk with each other about how to deal with this later, but I know for a fact you’ll be writing an apology letter.”

“There’s no way in _hell_ I’m doing that!” Janis yells.

“You’ll do what you’re told.” Veronica’s voice is clipped.

“You’re not my mom, you can’t tell me what to do.” Janis retorts, folding her arms over her chest.

“No, I’m not your mom, and I don’t pretend to be,” Veronica says. “But, whether you like it or not, you are under my care. Heather and I are responsible for looking after you and part of that is teaching you right and wrong. Punching someone is wrong, Janis.”

“Yeah and so is spreading rumors about someone’s dead mom,” Janis huffs, sliding down in her seat. “But Regina isn’t getting punished for that, is she? No because she’s fucking perfect and she can get away with everything--”

“Spreading _what_?” Veronica glances over, frowning. “I wasn’t told about this.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Janis mutters. “You’re just like them. You think that it’s all my fault because--”

“Janis, I’m being serious, I didn’t know about that,” Veronica says. Janis scoffs, undoing her seatbelt when they pull into the driveway. “Janis--”

“Just forget I said anything,” Janis shakes her head as she opens the door. “It doesn’t matter what she was doing because you’re going to punish me either way. The principal didn’t give a fuck so why should you?”

She storms up to the front door, unlocking it before Veronica has a chance to catch up to her. She doesn’t even bother to take her shoes off, taking the stairs two at a time. Veronica is hot on her heels though, jamming her foot in her bedroom door when Janis attempts to slam it behind her.

“What do you want?!” Janis yells, whirling around to face Veronica. “Just leave me alone for God’s sake!”

“No,” Veronica says. “I want to know what happened. You said Regina was spreading rumors about your mom. That’s not okay, Janis, and I wasn’t told about this. All I was told was that you walked up to, and punched, another girl. If what you’re saying is true then I’ll have to call up and arrange a meeting with your principal.”

“What good is it gonna do?” Janis rolls her eyes. “I’m still gonna be suspended and Regina is still going to be a stupid ass bitch--”

“Language, Janis.”

“--Whatever. Who cares? This is Regina we’re talking about, you can’ describe her without swearing. Anyway, either way all you’re going to do is make things worse by going up there,” Janis shrugs. “My mom tried, trust me.”

Veronica moves to sit on Janis’s bed, and the girl watches her. She can’t read her expression at all.

“Okay,” Veronica says once she’s sat down. “Fine. But I’m still not happy about any of this.”

“You and me both. Do you know what's stupid? I don't even know _what_ she said about my mom,” Janis huffs, sitting down next to her. She leans her head on Veronica’s shoulder. “Do I still have to write that stupid apology letter?”

“No, of course not.”

“And can Damian come over tomorrow? I want him to help me decorate. You should see his houses on _The Sims_ , he knows how to match colours.”

“Sure thing,” Veronica chuckles. “Look, I’m sorry about how I reacted at first. I should have heard you out first before getting angry.”

“It’s okay,” Janis shrugs. “You didn’t know. Sorry for being such a bitch. Can we get takeout for dinner? I’m in a mood to eat my feelings.”

“Yeah, sure thing. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)  
> still haven't written my essay but i got this done so everything's okay i guess :)))))))))))


	5. Shinin' light upon your ground

“You’re awake far too early for a Saturday morning.” Janis groans, shoving her face into her pillow as Damian opens her curtains.

“It’s 9AM, Janis,” He tuts. “Normal people hours. Mrs. Sawyer and Mrs. McNamara are up, I’m up, you’re the only one in this household who isn’t.”

“Ew don’t call them that, that’s weird,” Janis wrinkles her nose, propping herself up on an elbow and opening one eye, squinting in the brightness in her room. “They’re just Heather and Veronica, dude.”

“Either way, the point still stands,” Damian starts to tug on Janis’s covers. Janis lets out a whine. “C’mon, get up, we’ve gotta get to Target and choose everything out. Decorating a bedroom is a serious deal!”

When Damian’s constant pestering becomes too much, Janis reluctantly rolls out of bed and trudges to the bathroom to get ready. Damian insists on sitting outside the bathroom whilst she showers, blasting music from his phone. To Janis’s embarrassment she can hear Heather and Veronica join in the singing from downstairs.

It’s probably the quickest shower she’s ever taken in her life, desperate to make them shut up.

She emerges from the bathroom and swats Damian hard with her towel before heading back in to dry her hair and chuck the towel in the hamper. She listen as Damian shouts over the noise of the hairdryer something about a TV show he’s watching and she just nods along, even though they’re both aware that she’s not really listening.

Veronica makes them all pancakes for breakfast, and Janis can barely get a word in edgeways; it turns out that Veronica and Damian have a lot of similar interests, and it makes for a lively conversation. Janis catches Heather’s eye a couple of times from across the table, and they both share the same look of amusement as Damian and Veronica debate whether or not Jean Valjean and Javert would have been a good couple. Janis’s answer is a hard no, but she doesn’t dare voice it in fear of getting shut down as soon as she opens her mouth.

Heather and Veronica insist on driving them to Target, claiming that they needed new cushion for the couch. Janis begrudgingly lets them, although she regrets it when Damian and Veronica try to get her and Heather to join in on their passionate rendition of One Day More. She’s impressed, though; Damian is, surprisingly, quite a good singer and Veronica isn’t too shabby either.

When they get to Target, Janis is dragged away by her best friend almost as soon as they enter climb out of the car. He manages to stick around for the rules that Janis is briefed on--where they’ll meet once they’re done picking things out and how much she’s allowed to spend--but as soon as Heather’s mouth closes, he’s off, dragging her through the parked car and towards the store entrance. Janis just laughs and waves goodbye to her foster parents over her shoulder. It’ clear that they like Damian, and Janis finds herself staring at him as he scours the shelves, wondering how it was possible that he didn’t have any friends before her.

“So how’d they take it?” He asks, gesturing to Janis’s bruised knuckles as he holds two sample paint cards up. “I mean you’re not dead and you’re not grounded, so I’m assuming it didn’t go to badly?”

“Veronica was angry at first until she learned what happened,” Janis shrugs. “Heather too. I didn’t think that she would be much of a yeller, but you’ve never felt fear until she bursts through the front door screaming your name. I mean, she was more concerned than angry, but I didn’t know that at the time. I genuinely thought she was going to murder me.”

“That would’ve been something,” Damian snorts. He puts the sample cards back. “Do you even want to paint your room? I like the colour it is now if I’m honest.”

“Yeah, it would. Bet Regina would’ve been happy though. You think she’s gonna kill me when I go back?” Janis asks. “And me too. Let’s just leave it. No paint means more money for posters.”

“I don’t think she’ll _kill_ you,” Damian shakes his head. “But you’re not going to get off lightly with punching her in front of the whole cafeteria and giving her a black eye. I mean whatever happens I’ve got your back but you need to be prepared, Janis.”

“I’d honestly rather she killed me,” Janis whines as they leave the paint aisle. There was no pulling out of school for a year this time--she’d have to face the consequences. It was still worth it, though. Besides, she isn’t alone this time; she has Damian. “I’m kidding. It’s not like she can’t say anything about me that my 3AM demons haven’t already said.”

* * *

 

They finish off their shopping trip with a coffee--well, Janis has a hot chocolate, but the others have coffee--and soon enough the four of them are trying to carry everything Damian had picked out up to Janis’s room. It makes her a little uneasy that Heather and Veronica had bought all this stuff for her, and her promise to not get comfortable echoes in her mind. She pushes it away--it’s truly not that bad here.

Janis starts by changing her bed sheets into the new, space themed ones she’d chosen. Damian sits cross-legged on her floor, peeling the backs off of a set of plastic glow in the dark stars. He’d insisted she get them, ignoring her protests about her not being a kid anymore, they were a must have, he said, if she was having a space themed room. She’d given in when it became clear she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him.

They’d gone back on their opinion about the paint, picking out a really nice dark blue colour in the end. The plan was to paint galaxies on there, and Janis was extremely on board with that. Heather and Veronica were going to paint the room blue though, something that Damian wasn’t too happy with--he was desperate to get his hands on the paintbrush and the paintbrush to Janis’s bedroom wall--but they had been given permission to paint over them once it was done. It’s not clear when that will be, but it doesn’t stop Damian from talking about it as he positions Janis’s desk chair around the room and starts to stick the stars to her ceiling.

“Aren’t you excited Janis?” He asks as Janis sticks a poster to the back of her door.

“Yeah, of course, it’s going to be great,” She nods, and god, she was actually looking forward to something. That was new. “But I swear if you get one bit of paint not on the wall I’ll riot.”

“Aw come on, it’s not painting unless you have a paint war,” Janis laughs at that, shaking her head at Damian who was currently stood on her bed, hands raised over his head but not actually sticking anything up. “Please can we have a paint war, Janis? I’ll cry if you don’t let me.”

“That’s not something I can decide,” Janis shrugs, unrolling a second poster which she decides to stick on the side of her wardrobe--she doesn’t see much point in putting them on the walls right now if they’re only going to get taken down. “You’ll have to ask Heather and Veronica, but my bet is probably no.”

“Even if I cry?”

“Even if you cry,” Janis repeats. “I mean you can go ahead and try at dinner, but I’m not going to join in on this. Paint wars are a waste of paint, Damian, and paint is expensive.”

She can’t deny that it does sound fun, but having to clean herself up afterwards doesn’t. Thankfully Damian changes the subject pretty quickly and she doesn’t have to try and reason with him any more. She’s quickly learning that Damian is just as strong willed as she is, and she’s honestly not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. They kind of balance each other out, she thinks, humming to herself as she starts to help him with the stars.

It feels weird to Janis that it was only yesterday that she was on the floor of the bathroom in Damian’s arms. That a week ago she’d been informed that everything had fallen through. This week had been a complete roller coaster--ups and downs galore-- and here she was sticking glow in the dark stars made for kindergartners up on her ceiling with her best friend. _Happy._

Two hours later and Janis’s room is almost complete. Damian helps her finally unpack once they’ve finished decorating, and he doesn’t ask why she hasn’t already which she appreciates. The room actually looks like a teenager’s, and Janis loves it. Damian invites Heather and Veronica up and they all stand in the doorway, looking around. Janis was definitely right in enlisting Damian’s help.

“Mrs. McNamara can we please have a paint war when we’re painting the galaxies? We’ll be as careful as we can, and I promise we’ll clean up afterwards.” Damian pouts and Janis laughs at how he’s already got the two women wrapped around his finger, because Heather just nods.

“How could I say no?” They hear her say to Veronica as the two head downstairs to the kitchen. Veronica just laughs in response.

Janis and Damian curl up on Janis’s bed whilst dinner is cooking, and Damian convinces Janis to try the first episode of _The Haunting of Hill House_. It’s good, Janis’s type of thing, and the credits have just started to roll when the call for dinner comes and they race each other down to the table.

Janis gets there first.

Damian leaves after dinner. Janis insists on walking him back home, even though it’s right up the street, and they make plans for Janis to come over to his tomorrow afternoon. Mario Kart in Damian’s basement. She agrees, especially because it means that she won’t be woken up by him standing in her doorway again, and they hug and fistbumps before he heads inside. Janis waves to Mrs. Hubbard as the older woman answers the door, and shouts a quick goodbye as she turns around and heads back home.

“I like him,” Veronica says as Janis is toeing her shoes off. “He’s a good boy.”

“Okay, Veronica, he’s not a dog,” Janis teases, heading into the kitchen for a drink. “But yeah, he’s nice. Really nice. I don’t deserve him honestly.”

“That’s nonsense,” Veronica tuts. “You both deserve each other. He’s definitely charming, I’ll tell you that. I’m still surprised that H agreed to let you have a paint war. I mean what even _is_ a paint war?”

Janis takes a sip of her drink, shrugging one shoulder. “I’m guessing he means throwing the left over paint at each other. It’ll be fun in the moment but I’m not sure I want to deal with the aftermath.”

“Oh, have fun with that,” Veronica laughs. “Now, have you got any homework to do?”

Janis nods. “Yeah, but I’m not going back to school until next Monday so I’m not doing it now.”

“If you don’t do your homework then you’re not going to Damian’s tomorrow,” Veronica says with a shrug, clapping Janis on the back. “Chop chop.”

“You’re so _mean_.” Janis whines, but she does what she’s told; Damian will be pissed if she doesn’t hang out with him because she was too stubborn to do her homework. After all, all good things must come to an end and that includes the fun she'd been having up until staring down at her math worksheet, she guesses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)  
> Updates will definitely start slowing down soon, I apologise. I'd love to keep updating daily, but I should probably start taking my uni work a little more seriously. I'm trying to figure out some kind of schedule, for updates and once I settle on something I'll let you know! 
> 
> Have a good morning/afternoon/evening/night!


	6. Make your heart believe

Veronica works from home for the week that Janis is suspended. Janis isn’t happy, especially when Damian turns up every afternoon with the work that Janis had missed and she was forced to sit at the kitchen table the next day with Veronica to complete it for Damian to collect that evening and hand in the next day. There were a few arguments, clipped tones, raised voices and eye rolls, but they somehow made it through the week without completely falling out.

Although she hadn’t been too happy staying at home, she isn’t exactly thrilled to be going back to school. She rolls out of bed as Damian knocks on the front door and it’s a mad dash to get ready that ends up with her racing to the bus stop with a piece of toast clamped between her teeth, making it just in time. They flop down into their seats, struggling to catch their breath, and Janis eats her toast before falling asleep on Damian’s shoulder.

He shakes her awake when they reach the school, and she has to fight nausea building up as she steps off of the bus. She’s well aware of what Regina can do and it’s not really the fact of her doing something that has Janis nervous, it’s _what_.

The first thing Janis notices is that people are meeting her eyes and giving her small smiles in the hallway. The next is a pink post-it note stuck to her locker with nothing on but an ‘R’. For Regina, obviously.

She pulls open her locker, half expecting something to fall out and make a mess on the floor. Janis has to admit that she’s disappointed when everything’s in order because that’s too easy. Sure, she might get detention for making a mess or whatever but she can deal with that. She shoves some books in her locker, slams the door shut and stares at the post-it again, eyebrows furrowed. Regina’s obviously proud of whatever she’s done, otherwise there’d be no reason for the post-it, but Janis just can’t figure out what it is—people are meeting her eyes, not whispering about her in the hallway, so it can’t be a rumour—and that just makes her even more stressed.

Pulling off the post-it and shoving it in her pocket she forces herself to calm down a little. There’s no use stressing over it; that’s what Regina wants. Janis refuses to give that bitch more satisfaction than she already has, and Damian agrees with this when Janis tells him as she tosses the note into the bin.

“The best thing to do is just ignore her,” He says as they walk into their classroom. “She wants a reaction. Don’t give it to her.”

And Janis doesn’t. Even when Regina dumps her lunch tray over her head in the cafeteria.

She takes it, closes her eyes and grits her teeth as Damian starts to pick out pieces of pasta out of her hair. She calls Heather, asks for a change of clothes to be dropped off, and changes in a bathroom stall before heading to her next class. She doesn’t tell Heather exactly what had happened, she says that she’d slipped and spilt her lunch all over her because she knows that it’s just going to cause more trouble than it’s worth. Janis can fight her own battles, she doesn’t need Veronica and Heather to fight them for her.

People are snickering at her now as she pushes through the hallway to get to her locker again. It’s nothing new, she reminds herself and does her best to ignore it. It’s not as if the world is ending, and in ten years none of this is going to matter to her. None of it will matter to anyone. It’s just high school, it’s not as if she’s going to be here for the rest of her life.

“I’m gonna walk home.” Janis tells Damian as they leave the school.

“It’ll take, like, an hour, Janis,” Damian raises his eyebrows. “But if you’re walking home then I’m walking home. Do you want to stop somewhere for food? Sometimes I take my mom to this little cafe and they do the best cakes, I’m telling you they’re divine…”

Janis nods along to Damian’s ramblings about the cafe, agreeing to go there once he’d finished. She texts Heather and Veronica, lets them know that she’ll be late home and asks if they want her to bring anything home.

* * *

 

 Unlocking the door whilst trying not to spill two to-go cups of coffee and drop two slices of cake isn’t easy, but Janis manages it somehow. She can hear voices coming from the living room, and almost drops what she’s carrying when she sees two women that aren’t Heather and Veronica sat on the sofa.

“Uh…” She can feel her cheeks heating up as she glances between the two. “W-where’s Heather and Veronica?”

“Heather’s right there?” The heavier woman frowns, gesturing to the other woman. Janis starts to open her mouth to speak again when the other woman—Heather?—speaks up.

“She’s talking about Heather M., Martha,” she says. “Her and Veronica are just in the kitchen. I think they’ll be through in a minute. I’m Heather Duke and this is Martha. We were your moms’ friends in high school. You must be Janis?”

“They’re not my moms,” Janis says. “But, um, yeah, I am Janis and it’s nice to meet you both.”

Veronica comes to Janis’s aid then, taking the cups of coffee and cake slices from her. She makes a joke about hoping that Heather D. and Martha didn’t scare Janis and Janis just laughs and nods, taking the first opportunity that she can to leave the living room and head upstairs. Before she can properly face anyone she needs to take a shower; her hair smells of the gross cafeteria pasta sauce.

Freshly showered and changed into her pyjamas, Janis stays upstairs for most of the night doing her homework. She can hear the laughter coming from downstairs, the voices overlapping and cutting each other off as they retell stories and talk about their lives and Janis’s chest aches. It reminds her of her mom and her friends when they’d have get-togethers around the holidays and laugh and drink and have _fun_. Janis finds herself calling Damian, talking to him mindlessly as she skim reads the book they have been assigned for English, jotting down basic notes.

“Janis!” Veronica’s call comes eventually. “Dinner’s ready, kiddo!”

“I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Janis says to Damian and hangs up, shoving her phone in her pocket as she heads downstairs.

Heather, Heather and Martha are sat around the dinner table already and Veronica is carrying over the plates of food when Janis skids into the kitchen. Janis ends up between Veronica and foster parent Heather, not feeling comfortable enough to sit next to other Heather or Martha. They seem nice enough, sure, but she’d just rather not. Having to eat dinner at the table was already overwhelming, honestly, and she’d much rather eat alone in her room, rather than have to sit next to a stranger. Strangers who already knew about her despite her not knowing anything about them. It isn’t very fair, Janis thinks, cutting up the piece of chicken on her plate, that Heather and Veronica hadn’t told her that they were having people over. At least then she could’ve prepared.

“So, Janis,” Heather D. speaks up once everyone is sat down. “How’s North Shore going?”

“It’s fine,” Janis shrugs. “It’s just like any other high school, I guess. Full of bitches.”

“Janis, language.” Veronica warns with raised eyebrows. Heather D. laughs at that, shaking her head slightly.

“I think you’re forgetting what you were like at that age, Veronica,” She says, and Janis looks up at that, her eyes darting between the two. “I mean all of us, besides Martha, were bitches.”

“You were?” Janis asks, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

“They were,” Martha confirms, she leans towards Janis, lowering her voice as if she were telling her a secret. “They were _popular_.” Janis nods in understanding.

The Heathers and Veronica were their high school's version of the Plastics. It’s hard for Janis to imagine them that way, but if she tries hard enough she can imagine Duke’s face on Regina’s, Veronica’s on Gretchen’s and Heather’s on Karen’s. Maybe it’s not exactly accurate, but based on what she knows about them (not that she knows much about Duke at all), it might not be too far off.

“That was years ago,” Veronica shakes her head. “We’ve changed since then. Grown and apologised.”

Janis almost sprays juice all over the table. “Regina George would rather die than apologise.”

“Who’s Regina George?” Heather D. frowns.

Janis is about to speak when Heather M. cuts her off. “From what I can gather she’s the North Shore dollar store version of Heather Chandler.”

Veronica and Martha actually spray juice all over the table, bursting into laughter that Janis can’t join in. Instead, she just sits awkwardly whilst the four adults roar with laughter, waiting for them to calm down.

Martha fills her in once they’re all calm and frantically dabbing at the tablecloth, telling her about Heather Chandler. Janis has to agree that she definitely sounds like a better, even scarier, version of Regina George and she can’t believe that the Heathers and Veronica were friends with someone like that. Sure, Janis was friends with Regina at one point, but that was when they were younger and when Regina wasn’t as bad. But Veronica had _wanted_ to be friends with Heather C. Janis can’t fathom even wanting to be friends with Regina now, not when she’s so cold-hearted and mean, even if it would spare her the torment she’s currently facing, nothing will be worth willingly subjecting herself to Regina for multiple hours a day.

Janis supposes that Heather and Veronica’s friends aren’t that bad after all. They tell her stories about the time that Veronica tried, and failed, to dye her hair—Janis twirls a lock of her hair around her finger, glancing at the blonde ends which were a result of her last attempt—they tell her about the various times that Heather wrecked her dad’s car but somehow got away with it. In rebuttal, Veronica and Heather tell Janis about the time that Heather D. fell down three flights of stairs at school whilst trying to impress a boy and broke her arm and how Martha almost burned Veronica’s house down making _Jiffy Pop_.

By the end of dinner the adults are all red faces and embarrassed and Janis is grinning from ear to ear, comforted by the fact that they were worse teenagers than her. She’s never even been drunk. The worst thing she has on her record is punching Regina in the face, and that isn’t awful; Regina had been practically begging for it.

And she’d restrained herself earlier when Regina’s lunch found itself over all of Janis’s clothes. It would have been so easy to give Regina another black eye, and part of Janis wishes she had, but she’d kept her cool. Janis is proud of herself for that.

Whilst they’re eating dessert, Veronica asks Janis if she’d like to watch _The Princess Bride_ with them.

“It was Martha’s favourite film for years,” she says, smiling fondly at Martha. “She would quote it in her sleep. We’re watching it tonight for old times sake, and you’re more than welcome to join."

  
So Janis agrees, even though she should be working on her half-written history essay upstairs. She ends up on the floor next to Heather, the two of them sharing a bowl of popcorn together—Jiffy Pop, of course, Veronica had bought it especially—but she falls asleep before the end, leaning heavily against Heather.

She wakes up briefly when Veronica is carrying her upstairs, aware of her duvet being draped over her and a gentle kiss being pressed to her forehead before her bedroom door squeaks shut.

She falls asleep again with a smile on her face and a warm, cozy, feeling in her stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	7. How many lies do we have to tell

Tuesday lunch brings two cups of soup dumped over Janis’s head but also an important ally.

Janis and Damian meet Cady Heron in the girls’ bathroom. Janis has her head in the sink and Damian is pouring bottled water onto her hair, in an attempt to rinse the soup out, when Cady opens the door. They spend a few seconds staring at each other, the only sounds in the bathroom the slamming of the door and the sound of water running into the drain, and then Janis—despite her burning cheeks— introduces herself.

“I realise that this looks really weird but it’s not something that happens every day,” She says, gesturing to Damian, the sink and the water bottle. “I, uh, had a bit of a run in with some soup. It’s in my hair, so…”

“I can see that,” Cady nods, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. “You’re the people from French, right? Who told me to use my, uh,” she uses air quotes. “‘French name’”

“The very ones,” Damian grins. “I’m Damian and this is Janis, resident art freak. You’re Caddy.”

“It’s Cady—”

“Yeah, I’m going to call you Caddy,” Janis interrupts, straightening up when Damian gives her the all clear. “How’s your first day at North Shore going? Other than walking in on…this.

“It’s going well,” Cady says hesitantly, shrugging slightly. “Um, nobody wanted me to sit with them in the cafeteria so I was just going to eat in here.”

Damian looks to Janis, his eyes pleading. She gives him a quick nod; Cady seems nice, and it can’t hurt to attempt to make friends with her. Damian doesn’t need any more encouragement and practically pounces on Cady as Janis slips into a stall to change her stained clothes. She’d brought an extra outfit today just in case Regina repeated yesterday’s episode and she was glad that she did.

She emerges just as Damian starts detailing his plan to walk around the cafeteria and find somewhere for her to sit and she feels slightly bad for Cady who looks almost scared. Janis doesn’t blame her because she knows that Damian can be a lot, but she seems to relax once they’re walking around the cafeteria.

Damian isn’t exactly subtle when trying to get Cady to sit with them but it works. The three of them end up at a table together, joking and laughing and for a moment Janis forgets about the Plastics altogether. Well, until Cady leaves to bin her rubbish and ends up being called over to their table. Janis and Damian share a glance at this, watching the interaction with bated breath. They’re surprised when it doesn’t end in tears, but with Cady sat at their table.

“Oh my God!” Damian squeals, pumping a fist in the air. “We’re going to get our revenge party after all!”

“We don’t know what they’re talking about, though,” Janis says, holding a hand up. “Don’t get your hopes up, you know what Regina is like. She could be chewing Cady up right now and we’d have no idea.”

“They’re all laughing, Janis, including Cady. You think she’d be doing that if Regina was being mean?” Damian sighs. “C’mon, be positive. This could be a game changer!”

Cady remains with the Plastics for the rest of lunch, but Damian and Janis practically corner her in the next passing period.

“They want me to sit with them for the rest of the week,” Cady confirms. “I tried to say no—I promised to sit next to you guys after all—but Regina wouldn’t listen so I’ll just tell them tomorrow and—”

“No!” Janis shakes her head. “No! No way. You need to sit with them and tell us every single dumb or stupid thing that they say!”

Cady stares at Janis, confusion evident on her face. “Isn’t that bad?” She asks, making Janis’s gut twist with something close to guilt. It is, Janis supposes, but it’s for the greater good. They need Cady to do this. It’s about time Regina learns how much it hurts to have someone you trust betray you.

“We’re your friends Cady,” she says, gesturing to Damian. “Would we tell you to do bad things?”

Cady seems to mull this over for a few seconds and the halls are starting to empty out, so they’re mostly alone (and definitely going to be late to class).

“Okay, I’ll do it.” She nods and Damian and Janis cheer, the three of them high-fiving before rushing off to class.

Janis can barely focus for the rest of the school day, too busy thinking of ways to get back at Regina.

* * *

 

“What’s the best way to get back at someone?” Janis asks at dinner around a mouthful of lasagna. “Like, say they were really mean to you and you can finally get your revenge. What would you do?”

“No. Nuh-uh. We are not answering that question,” Veronica says, looking towards Heather who’s clearly trying to stifle a laugh. “Janis, I’m forbidding you to do whatever you’re planning.”

“I’m not planning anything,” Janis feigns innocence, her fork clattering onto her plate as she holds her hands up. “I was just asking a question.”

“How mean are we talking?” Heather asks and there’s a beat of silence as Veronica stares at her, mouth hanging open. Heather bursts into laughter, shaking her head. “No, I’m kidding, Janis. I’m with Veronica. I don’t know what you’re planning, and I don’t want to know, but you shouldn’t do it. Be the bigger person in this situation and don’t retaliate. It’s not worth it.”

“Well, what did you do when you were in high school?” Janis asks. “You said Heather Chandler was like Regina George, right? So what did you do to her?”

“We were friends with Heather C, Janis.” Veronica says.

“Yeah, and you’re not now, I mean she wasn’t here yesterday and none of you said anything like ‘oh it’s so sad other other Heather can’t be here’,” Janis shrugs. “So something must have happened.”

“We just went separate ways after school,” Heather says and Janis can tell by the way she’s chewing on the inside of her cheek, and the glances her and Veronica keep exchange, that she’s lying. “There’s not really that much to it. Drop it, please.”

Janis huffs but doesn’t push it. There’s an awkward silence as they eat and even afterwards whilst Janis is helping to clean up. It makes her feel uneasy and she knows that it’s related to Heather Chandler in a way. There was obviously more to the story than what Heather had said, that much was clear.

Back in her room, Janis is almost tempted to message Heather Duke or Martha but she decides not to on the account that Veronica and Heather would definitely find out. She lays on her bed, staring at the stars on the ceiling whilst still racking her brains for ideas. It’s not like she has a shortage of them, she’s had years to think about this, but it’s that none of them are perfect. Getting revenge on Regina George was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity and Janis had to get it just right.  
Pulling out her phone she creates a group chat with her, Damian and Cady and quickly types in a message.

 **Janis Sarkisian:** h+v say not to get revenge  
only makes me wanna do it more  
**Damian Hubbard:** that’s the spirit!!!!  
Mom says we should throw paint all over her  
you have paint, right janis????  
**Janis Sarkisian:** yeah but that’s kinda lame  
No offence to your mom or anything  
It needs to be something that everybody talks about  
**Cady Heron:** Maybe we should listen to the adults guys.  
**Damian Hubbard:** cady hun thats lamer than my moms suggestion  
**Cady Heron:** :-(  
**Janis Sarkisian:** seriously guys we need to come up with something  
Something legendary  
**Damian Hubbard** : we could,,,,  
Idk,,,,  
Do something involving aaron?  
**Cady Heron:** Aaron Samuels? Why him?  
**Janis Sarkisian:** hes reginas boyfriend  
But hes also a nice guy so idk I dont want to hurt him  
**Cady Heron:** He’s hot.  
**Damian Hubbard** : RT  
**Janis Sarkisian:** ew gross get outta here with that shit  
Anyway guys: REVENGE PLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**Cady Heron:** My mom says to hit her where it hurts whatever that’s supposed to mean  
But I still don’t get why you want revenge on her  
**Damian Hubbard** : well, apparently, back in middle school  
_Janis Sarkisian has removed Damian Hubbard from the chat_  
**Janis Sarkisian:** it doesnt matter caddy all that matters is that shes a scum sucking fart mouthed life ruined and i hate her for good reason  
_Janis Sarkisian has added Damian Hubbard to the chat_  
**Damian Hubbard:** janis sarkisian suck my fuck  
Wow okay  
That was supposed to read dick but cool  
**Janis Sarkisian:** lmaoooo suck my fuck  
Anyway I should probably go n do the french homework if we’re not gonna get anywhere with the revenge stuff  
**Damian Hubbard:** I dont think we are my dear  
Send me the answers once youre done and ill owe my life to you  
**Janis Sarkisian:** or you could bring me some chocolate tomorrow morning  
**Damian Hubbard:** deal  
**Cady Heron:** If I send you the answers too can I have some chocolate tomorrow morning?  
**Damian Hubbard:** you can have some anyway caddy because I like you more than I like janis  
**Janis Sarkisian:** :o  
**Damian Hubbard:** the truth hurts  
**Janis Sarkisian:** gonna go and cry  
See u losers tomorrow  
**Cady Heron:** Bye!!!!!  
**Damian Hubbard:** good riddance but also godspeed

Janis closes the app and plugs her phone in to charge, leaving it on her nightstand as she crosses the room to her desk. The homework takes under 20 minutes, just a quick worksheet, and she takes a picture of it and sends it to Damian before sliding the sheet into her backpack ready to hand in tomorrow. She scrolls through the messages she missed in the group chat but they’re still not close to coming up with a plan to get back at Regina and it’s getting kind of frustrating now because Cady’s only hanging out with the Plastics for a week, supposedly.

Janis has spent so long waiting for this moment and she’s going to potentially blow it because she can’t come up with a good enough idea. Ugh.

She’s still trying to think of ideas when there’s a knock at her door and Veronica pushes it open before Janis can tell her to go away.

“Is something going on at school, Janis?” She asks crossing the room. Janis’s confusion must show on her face because she hurriedly adds on, “Well, you know, the revenge thing. Is Regina still bothering you?”

“No,” Janis lies, and she’s much better at it than Heather and Veronica are. “I was just thinking about it, y’know, in case I ever did get the option. Today’s actually been a pretty good day. Damian and I made a new friend.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Janis nods. “Her name’s Cady. Maybe I’ll have her over soon, I don’t know. She’s new to North Shore.”

“Well as long as everything is going okay,” Veronica says, putting a hand on Janis’s shoulder. Janis fights the urge to push it off/ “That’s all that matters. I just wanted to check because Heather and I have been worried about the whole punching incident, you know? Teenage girls don’t tend to forgive or forget very easily.”

Janis snorts. “I guess you could say that. But yeah, everything’s fine, you don’t have to worry.”

“And you would tell us if it wasn’t?” Janis nods. Another lie. “Okay, good. Well, it’s getting late so you should probably head to bed soon.”

“I was just thinking about going to sleep, actually. Goodnight.” Janis says, following Veronica to the doorway and closing the door after her.

Janis gets ready for bed and turns out her lights but finds herself unable to sleep. Between trying to come up with the perfect plan and also wondering about what happened to Heather Chandler, Janis’s mind is racing and she can’t shut it off.

It’s around 2AM when she gets the idea to just google Heather Chandler’s name, and she can’t believe that she hadn’t thought about that before. She grabs her phone, searches the name. Janis doesn’t know what she expected to find, but it wasn’t articles talking about four deaths at Westerberg High School, Heather Chandler’s among them.

But even so, it doesn’t explain the silence at dinner. There hadn’t been the same silence last night when Heather had brought her up.

There’s something that the adults aren’t telling her, something that relates to getting revenge and Heather Chandler simultaneously. Janis is making it her mission to find out what it is.

She’s not expecting either Damian or Cady to be awake but she messages the chat anyway.

 **Janis Sarkisian:** okay revenge plan is being put on hold for a little bit  
As much as it pains me to type that  
**Damian Hubbard:** go the fuck to sleep  
**Janis Sarkisian:** no u  
**Damian Hubbard:** wait,,,, on hold??????  
explain  
**Janis Sarkisian:** we have something more important to find out  
Come over tomorrow after school and ill fill u in  
The adults are being shady and I want to find out what they’re hiding  
**Damian Hubbard:** oh god this doesnt sound good  
**Janis Sarkisian:** it’s probably not if im honest  
Anyway go to sleep  
**Damian Hubbard:** YOU WOKE ME UP????!!!!!  
**Janis Sarkisian:** ya and now im telling you to go to sleep okay??  
See u tomorrow  
Dont forget the chocolate cause im fuckin stressed and I need it  
**Damian Hubbard:** I got u now go to sleep  
**Janis Sarkisian:** k night  
**Damian Hubbard:** night <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)  
> yikes? kinda????


	8. Wishing and dreaming

Janis doesn’t even make it to second period.

She sits in the nurse's office, jacket draped over her head in an effort to block out the light and ease the throbbing in her head a little. Just when it seemed she was finally catching a break, the universe was back on its bullshit again.

She practically hits the ceiling when someone unexpectedly touches her shoulder—she hadn’t even heard the door opening—but then Veronica’s laughing softly and Janis relaxes.

“It’s just me, kiddo,” Veronica says softly. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. Migraine?”

Janis lets out a miserable groan from underneath her jacket, and Veronica laughs again.

“M’not taking my jacket off. Hurts.”

“You don’t need to, I’ll lead you,” Veronica helps Janis up out of the chair, linking their arms together. “You’re going straight to bed once we get in, alright?”

Bed sounds like heaven to Janis as they manoeuvre across the parking lot. She lays across the backseats of the car, despite Veronica’s protests that it isn’t safe, and tries to fall asleep for the ride. Her phone keeps vibrating in her pocket every time she almost falls asleep, and she knows that it’s Damian and Cady trying to check up on her, but she can’t bring herself to open an eye and squint at her phone screen. She’ll just answer later when she’s, hopefully, feeling a lot better.

Once they get home Veronica helps her into the house, but they both decide that trying to tackle the stairs whilst Janis refuses to open her eyes isn’t a good idea. Instead Veronica pulls the curtains shut in the living room and Janis makes herself comfortable on the couch, buried under a pile of blankets that Veronica gives her. She’s forced to take some painkillers and then drifts into an uneasy sleep for the next few hours, waking up every so often to Veronica checking on her.

She wakes up when Heather gets home, pushing herself into a sitting position on the couch as Heather pokes her head around the door frame. Her headache has lessened a little, but she’s exhausted considering that she’d just slept for six hours. When Heather asks if she’s okay she nods and gives her a shaky smile and thumbs up and after a little while of laying on the couch she retreats to her bedroom.

Migraine or not, Janis still wants to get the ball rolling on uncovering the adults’ secret so she invites Damian and Cady over anyway and argues with Veronica when she almost turns them away. She finally budges when Janis starts crying, but warns them that they have 30 minutes and that’s it.

“You look like shit, Sarkisian,” Damian says as they enter her room. Janis flips him off. “I’m just telling the truth!”

“Yeah well I feel like shit,” Janis shrugs, wrapping herself in her duvet cover. “Lower your voice a little, please?”

“Are you sure we should be here?” Cady asks. “Veronica was right, you should be in bed and you were just crying—”

“I’ve been in bed pretty much all day,” Janis pouts. “And besides, those tears weren’t real, I was just pretending. That shit always works, trust me.”

Janis spends the next 20 minutes filling them in on the situation as best as she can. She shows them the articles she read, tells them about last night and the night before when Heather Duke and Martha were there. They all agree that there’s something fishy about the situation and Janis is glad when they both agree to helping her find out what it is. Cady suggests that they talk to Duke and Martha and it’s a good idea but they can’t just outright ask them, it’d get back to Heather and Veronica that way.

“Janis, Veronica was talking about her birthday coming up soon the other day, right?” Damian asks after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah, why?”

“What if we throw her a surprise party?” He offers. “It means that we have reason to talk to Duke and Martha and any of her other friends that might know what happened, and also means that they can’t say anything to Heather or Veronica. It’s the perfect plan.”

“It would work,” Janis nods and she’s suddenly excited about the whole thing. “Damian, thank you! You’re literally a genius. It’s gonna be a lot of work but we can do it. And we get cake at the end of it, so what could go wrong?”

“Oooh, my mom is a good baker,” Cady grins. “I’m sure if I ask her, and maybe cry a little, she’ll help us out with the food.”

They settle into a light discussion after that, falling silent as soon as Veronica opens the door to let them know that their time is up.

“I don’t like this,” she says, her eyes flitting between the three teenagers staring at her. “What are you planning?”

“Nothing ma’am,” Cady says, standing up and holding her hand out to Damian to help him up. “We should probably get going.”

* * *

 

Much to Janis’s annoyance, Heather and Veronica make her stay home the next day even though she’s feeling much better. Janis finds herself curled up on the couch again with Heather next to her, watching some crappy cartoons on the TV.

“Cady seems nice,” Heather says during an advert break. “I’m so glad that you’re finding good friends. Damian’s a gem.”

“He’s a disaster is what he is,” Janis laughs, but she sees an opportunity and grabs it. “What were your friends like in high school?”

“Well,” Heather pauses, searching for the right words. “I didn’t have many until senior year. Just Heather and Heather up until then. Veronica joined us that year, and so did Martha. They were all good friends, I guess. Maybe, at first, not in the way that your friends are, but we did all love each other,” she gestures to her phone, showing Janis her lock screen—a picture of her and Veronica. “Maybe a little bit too much.”

“Okay, that’s gross.” Janis wrinkles her nose, kicking Heather playfully.

“You asked,” Heather laughs. “Either way, you’ve got good friends Janis. You’ve settled in well. Mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“You did punch a girl in the first week of school and you and Veronica butt heads quite a lot,” Heather says. “But I’ll give you a pass about the arguments with Veronica, actually. I think she forgets what we were like around your age.”

“Okay, but Regina deserved it,” Janis says. “And anyway, I’ve never _really_ argued with Veronica, except the whole fight thing when she was all like ‘you’re gonna write an apology letter to Regina’, but we sorted that out just fine. Heather, don’t you see that there’s a common factor here? Nothing to do with me not settling in. It's Regina causing all of the problems, not me.”

“I really don’t like the sound of this girl,” Heather grimaces. “Are you sure that there’s nothing Veronica and I can do?”

“Positive,” Janis shrugs. “You’ll just make things worse. It’s okay, though, she’ll be a nothing after high school.”

Heather chokes on a mouthful of coffee at that, although she manages to keep it from spraying everywhere somehow. Janis watches it with an amused smile, handing Heather a tissue when she asks. Janis doesn’t think that she’d said anything particularly funny, but she’s not complaining about Heather’s reaction. It feels good to make people laugh until they cry.

“You know, Veronica once said almost the exact same thing,” Heather says once she’s calmer. “I think that you two are a lot more similar than you think you are.”

“I was just stating the truth,” Janis says. “She’s too used to getting everything her way. The real world is gonna hit her like a truck.”

And it’s true: Regina has no idea what’s in store for her after high school. She can’t handle criticism, she can’t handle not getting her own way, she can’t handle the fact that she’s not the most important thing in most people’s lives. Janis sometimes wishes that she was in the Plastics just so she could see the train wreck that would happen after they graduate, a front row seat to the most entertaining show on Earth. She supposes that it won’t only be fun to watch Regina either because Gretchen and Karen are amazingly incompetent too. It’ll be a miracle if Karen actually graduates if Janis is honest, and even if she does by some miracle, watching her try to apply for jobs would be hilarious. Gretchen would probably fare the best out of all of them, Janis guesses, because she’s used to being told what to do without question. Her habit of spilling secrets might get her in trouble with her co-workers, though.

“Janis?” She snaps out of her thoughts to Heather calling her name.

“Yeah?”

“I asked if you wanted lunch,” Heather smiles. “But you were off on another planet or something.”

“I was just thinking about how fun it would be to watch the Plastics after they graduate,” Janis shrugs. “But, before I say yes to lunch, what’s for lunch?”

* * *

 

Persuading Veronica to let Damian and Cady come over is a lot easier this time, and there’s no tears shed.

She leads them up to her room, shuts and locks the door, and sits in her desk chair whilst the other two sit on her bed. Damian proposes a chill afternoon where they don’t make revenge plans or uncovering secrets plans and they just sit and talk and chill. Cady nods enthusiastically, and Janis supposes that they’ve only been friends for three days and two of them were involving plans of some sort, so she reluctantly agrees.

They end up cross-legged on Janis’s bedroom floor, playing a game of Scrabble. Janis isn’t surprised when Cady wins by… a lot of points. She seems happy with herself when Damian announces the final scores, and Janis finds herself reaching for her phone to capture the moment. She sends the picture to the group chat, with the comment of ‘Cady’s first Scrabble win!!!’ and she’s tempted to post it on Instagram too, but she doesn’t. That would completely sever any ties Cady has with the Plastics and they need her to keep it going so that they can take revenge once they’re done uncovering secrets.

“Oh, Janis, I meant to tell you something,” Damian says when Cady gets up to use the bathroom and leaves the room. “Regina’s saying that you’re skipping school because you’re afraid of her. Just thought you’d want to know.”

“Ugh,” Janis groans, throwing her head back. “You think she’ll ever let me catch a break? I mean it’s cool, it’s not the worst thing she’s ever said about me, but man. Just wish she’d give it a rest.”

“Yeah, when pigs fly,” Damian scoffs. “Are you sure that you want to put the revenge plans on hold? Can’t we work on both at the same time? I’m up for it.”

“Damian, do I look like I can do multiple things at once?” Janis raises her eyebrows. “Cady,” she says when the girl enters again. “Damian wants to do revenge plans and uncovering secrets plans at the same time, what do you think?”

“I thought we weren’t talking about this today?” Cady frowns. “But no. One set of plans and trying to hang out with the Plastics is enough, thanks. And it’s not as if I’m even doing much. I just sit at their table and agree with everything Regina says.”

“Sounds like torture,” Janis grimaces. “Thanks, though.”

“It’s nothing,” Cady shrugs. “I don’t really know much about what happened but Regina doesn’t seem all that nice. She’s cool but she’s so bitchy it’s insane. I didn’t think this was what high school was going to be like.”

“High school is literal hell, Caddy,” Damian says, resting a hand on Cady’s shoulder. “The movies aren’t lying.”

“I can tell.” Cady deadpans, and the three of them burst into laughter.

“But you’ve got us,” Damian gestures to himself and Janis. “I guess you also have the Plastics but I’m not necessarily sure that that’s a good thing.”

“Karen would probably listen to me rant,” Cady says. “She’s pretty patient.”

Damian and Cady leave about an hour before dinner, and Janis waves them off. Heather was right; they were good friends and Janis was glad that they put up with her.

She returns to her room, grabbing her sketchbook and seating herself at her desk before pulling up the picture of Cady she’d sent to the group chat on her laptop. She’d ripped out all of the pages with drawings relating to memories of her old life. It was time to make new ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)  
> I had a migraine yesterday so I thought I'd make your girl suffer too because I'm actually a terrible person.


	9. Fill my cup with endless ambition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in so long! It's the end of the semester and there's currently some not so good family things going on, but I missed this so here you go! I can't guarantee when the next chapter will be since I go straight back to work (pray for retail workers pls and thanks) once Christmas break starts, but I'll try and get it up as soon as possible!
> 
> Thank you for your patience!

“We’re going to Heather and Veronica’s friend’s house after school,” Janis announces to Damian and Cady on the bus after being given the all clear to go back to school. “Her name is also Heather and—”

“How many Heathers are there?” Cady frowns. “How are we supposed to distinguish them?”

“Dead Heather, Janis’s Heather and Other Heather.” Damian grins.

“I was going to say by their last name but I guess Damian’s works too,” Janis rolls her eyes, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. “Anyway, we’re gonna go there and see what we can find out without being too obvious. Also, we can see if we can get contacts for other classmates.”

“I’m going to be honest and say that, now that I’ve had time to reflect on it, I don’t think this is a great idea,” Cady says. “Seriously, Janis, what if they’re hiding it away from you for a reason? What if it’s bad?”

“It’s for sure bad, Caddy,” Janis shrugs. That much was clear. “But whatever it is, I can handle it. Trust me.”

Cady turns around in her seat and doesn’t say anything for the rest of the bus ride. Janis and Damian talk amongst themselves whilst she copies his homework that she forgot to do, trying to keep her thoughts away from the red-headed girl in front of her. She doesn’t want to upset Cady, and she also doesn’t want to make her do something that she doesn’t want to do.

So when they file off of the bus she grabs Cady’s arm and pulls her to the side, aware that she has to be quick in case the Plastics see her.

“If you don’t want to do this you don’t have to,” she tells her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “That applies to both sets of plans, by the way. If Regina and the Plastics are getting too much—”

“No, it’s fine,” Cady shakes her head. “If it makes you happy I’ll do it. I just don’t want you to get hurt,” she takes Janis’s hands in hers making Janis’s breath hitch. She doesn’t seem to notice, though. “You’re sure you can handle whatever you find out?”

“Positive,” Janis murmurs, meeting Cady’s gaze before dropping her hands to her side and nodding her head towards the front of the school where she can see the Plastics. “Go. Quickly, before they see us and crucify you.”

Cady glances up at them and grimaces. “Alright,” she says, waving to Janis and Damian as she walks away. “I’ll see you later!”

Janis watches her go, giving her some distance before she starts working herself. Even though the revenge plans are on hold at the moment, she doesn’t want to blow their cover and have to completely scrap them.

“You’re falling hard,” Damian says, patting her on the back as they walk up the front steps. And then, after Janis flips him off, “What? Your face was redder than a tomato when she grabbed your hands.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Janis shakes her head as they stop at Damian’s locker. “We’re just friends, that’s all.”

“But you wish you were more, right?” Damian asks with a wink and Janis groans.

“You’re on thin fucking ice, Hubbard,” she warns. “No, I don’t. Now let's go before we’re late.”

* * *

 

The school day passes uneventfully. She’s aware of more eyes on her, and makes a point of staring Regina down across the lunch room just to prove that she wasn’t afraid of her. People notice, and there’s a few smiles directed her way that take her by surprise—it’s pretty clear that others are catching on. And hell, she’ll punch Regina again if that’s what it takes. She’s not scared of it. Maybe of Veronica and Heather’s reactions, but definitely not the girl herself. She’s spent too long doing that.

She meets Damian and Cady by Cady’s locker, waiting until the halls are almost empty to leave. It means that they have to sprint to catch their bus, and they only just make it, but Cady tells them that Regina had remarked about how the three of them caught the same bus and that someone had told her that they sat together.

“I told her it was because there were no other seats available,” Cady says breathlessly, flopping into a seat as the bus pulls away. “But I guess we’re going to have to be careful if someone on this bus is a snitch.”

Janis knows that she shouldn’t care, it was literally part of the plan, but Cady pretending that she doesn’t like them hurts. She feels tears start to well in her eyes at Cady’s explanation of how she reassured Regina and rubs at her eyes with the heel of her hands. Damian picks up on this, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and asking quietly if she’s okay. She nods, blaming it on a headache. He doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t say anything as she leans her head against his shoulder for the journey.

They get off at Cady’s stop first for her to drop off her stuff and lie to Mrs. Heron that they’re hanging out at Janis’s. Next, they stop at Janis’s and tell Heather that they’re hanging at Cady’s—Damian lived right down the road, she would see them leaving to go to Heather’s and it would be too obivous—and they tell the same lie to Damian’s mom.

It’s a confusing mess, and Janis just hopes that she remembers it later when she gets home. They come up with things to tell their parents that they did as they walk over to Heather’s house, guided by Google Maps, and Janis makes notes on her phone so that she can remember.

They reach Duke’s house in just over forty minutes. Damian complains the last ten, whining that his feet hurt whilst Janis and Cady just roll their eyes and tell him to get over it. It’s for a good cause, and he can sit down when they get there.

Heather opens the door with a wide smile and quickly ushers them in. They pause in the entryway, taking off their shoes and coats and then head into the kitchen to grab drinks and a cookie that Heather offers them. Damian lets out a relieved sigh when they finally sit down and Janis clears her throat, aware that she’s going to have to do most of the talking.

“So, uh, like I said in my message, we were thinking of throwing Veronica a surprise party for her birthday and we were hoping that you could help us?” She starts off with, and Duke nods. “Um, well, we were thinking of putting up pictures everywhere and we were wondering if you had any we could use? It doesn’t matter when they’re from, although we’d like some from high school and stuff but it’s fine if you don’t have them.”

“I should, somewhere,” Duke nods, buying it hook, line and sinker. Janis supposes that there isn’t really all that much to be suspicious of right now. “When do you need them by?”

“Well the party will be in about a month, so by then,” Janis shrugs. “But, like, as soon as possible would be great so that we can make copies and all.”

“And where would you be having the party?”

“At the house. Actually, we were hoping that you and Martha would be able to distract them on the day,” Janis answers. “Like, go out for lunch and keep them busy whilst we set up.” Duke’s eyes light up at that.

“I’ve always wanted to do that!” the woman confesses. Janis almost pumps a fist in the air; this was a lot easier than she’d been imagining it would be. “If you guys don’t mind waiting down here I can go and dig up some of our old yearbooks and try and find my high school photo album,” she stands up when the teens all nod. “I’ll be right back.”

Janis and Damian high-five when she disappears upstairs and Janis leans back on the couch, scrolling through her social media mindlessly. They’re too afraid of being heard if they speak, so the three communicate in their group chat.

 **Cady Heron:** Good job, Janis! :)  
**Janis Sarkisian:** thanks!!!!  
**Damian Hubbard:** im genuinely interested to see what v looked like in high school  
**Janis Sarkisian:** yeah me too  
**Damian Hubbard:** heather too  
**Damian Hubbard:** all of them I mean  
**Damian Hubbard:** out of all of them which one do u think was the most likely to have an emo phase  
**Janis Sarkisian:** veronica  
**Cady Heron:** Veronica  
**Damian Hubbard:** same. I hope we’re right  
**Janis Sarkisian:** me too  
**Janis Sarkisian:** hopefully these photos give me some blackmail material once the party is over  
**Cady Heron:** Janis NO!  
**Damian Hubbard:** …  
**Damian Hubbard:** janis did u think that one through  
**Damian Hubbard:** everyone will have seen them already if ur putting them up at the party  
**Cady Heron:** Oh yeah  
**Janis Sarkisian:** *middle finger emoji**middle finger emoji**middle finger emoji*  
**Damian Hubbard:** *winking face emoji*

They all pocket their phones when they hear Heather coming down the stairs, and start talking about school so that it doesn’t look suspicious. Heather beams at them when she enters, a few yearbooks and a photo album in her arms. They slide off of the couch, sitting down on the floor as Heather dumps down the books. Cady, Damian and Heather grab the yearbooks which leaves Janis flipping through the photo album.

She notices that Veronica doesn’t turn up until around halfway through, although Heather M. Is present for the majority of photos. There’s also another girl, dressed in red, who Janis assumes is Heather Chandler. It doesn’t surprise her to see that their colours haven’t changed; Duke is still dressed in green, Veronica in blue, and Heather in yellow.

"It's just something that we did," Heather shrugs when Janis points it out. She gestures to her outfit. "And when you've been buying green clothes for years on end, it's hard to stop."

“Who’s this?” Janis asks later, interrupting the silence that had fallen over the room as they leafed through the pages. Duke peers over, takes in the figure that Janis was pointing out.

“That’s J.D.” she says hesitantly. Janis recognises the name, realises that it’s from the article she read that night. He had died that year too.

“Who is he?” She feigns innocence. In the picture he’s barely smiling, his arms wrapped around Veronica’s waist. “Do you think I could use this for the party?”

“No!” Heather says, shaking her head hard. “I—he was Veronica’s boyfriend but it—it didn’t end well,” she reaches across, pulling the album away from Janis. “I don’t even know why that picture is in there.”

“It’s okay,” Janis shrugs. “We can use something else. Something without J.D.”

“I think that’s best,” Heather nods. She slides the picture out, placing it on the side table before handing the album back to Janis. “It, uh, it didn’t end well so please don’t mention this to Veronica.”

“We won’t,” Cady pipes up, with a brief pointed look in Janis’s direction. “It’s safe with us. Besides, we can’t mention anything about this or they’ll find out about the party. We’re not even telling Heather, so…”

Heather seems to relax at this, going back to looking at the yearbook. Janis resumes flipping through the photo album and alerts Heather every time she finds a picture with J.D. in it that the woman quickly slides out and adds to her pile. Janis isn’t stupid enough to confront Veronica about all of this, but it does make her wonder that Veronica was directly linked to two of the victims in more than a ‘we nod at each other in the hallway’ kind of relationship. Not that she’s suggesting that Veronica is linked to any of it—maybe it was just unfortunate—but it’s definitely something to think about.

* * *

 

They leave Heather’s house about an hour later, a wad of photos tucked inside of Janis’s backpack to make copies of, and a list of classmates and numbers. The three of them write out a text message on the walk back to Cady’s after stopping at a cafe for food after realising that their parents would have expected them to eat at whoever's house they were at. They get a few responses before they have to say bye to Cady, and it suddenly hits Janis whilst her and Damian are walking back that this is a lot of work just to get to the bottom of whatever happened at Westerberg that year.

“I mean Cady said her mom will help us with the food,” Janis says. “But we’ve somehow got to find money for decorations, and sort of sleeping arrangements for those that need them. Not to mention it’s a party for adults which means alcohol that none of us are able to buy—”

“Calm down,” Damian takes her by the shoulders. “We’ll get it all sorted. I have a bit of money saved up we can use for decorations, and we can easily make some by offering to walk dogs or something.”

“But—”

“Janis if you don’t calm down then they’re going to notice that something is off,” Damian gestures to the end of their road. The house isn’t in view yet, but it’s less than five minutes away. “We’ve got a month. We’ll figure something out.”

And Damian is right, so they take a few minutes for her to calm down before turning onto her road. She waves goodbye to him, standing at the bottom of the garden path until she sees him reach his front door, and then she heads inside herself.

Heather and Janis are in the living room when Janis kicks her shoes off and dumps her coat and backpack down. She smiles at them as she heads down the hall to the kitchen, and it isn’t long until they join her.

“Did you have a good time?” Heather asks.

“Yeah, it was fun,” Janis nods. “We played Mario Kart.”

“I keep telling Heather we should buy that game,” Veronica smiles, ruffling Janis’s hair. “Were you good at it?”

“Nah,” Janis says. It’s true; she’s shockingly bad at it. “Damian beat us both.”

She has to swallow down every question about J.D. on the tip of her tongue and stays quiet unless there’s a question directed at her. She downs the rest of her water after declining an offer to watch a movie with them and takes the stairs two at a time to her room.

There’s a few more replies to her text, and she thanks everyone that responds before plugging her phone in to charge.

She spends the rest of the night at her desk, sketching her, Cady and Damian’s faces onto the canvas that Veronica and Heather had provided her with, trying to distract her mind from the elusive J.D. She tries to google his name before she goes to bed, but there’s nothing that tells her what happened to him, only that he died at 17 and she scours through as many articles as she can before her eyes grow too heavy.

It’s frustrating; there are so many articles about the deaths at Westerberg but they’re all vague. They mention the names and the ages and the reactions, but nothing else. Janis knows that it’s kind of morbid to want to know how the teens died, but maybe it’s important to the adults’ reaction.

She can only hope that she has better luck trying to weasel the information out of Veronica’s old friends. Hopefully they won’t be so tight-lipped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that 26 people are subscribed to this fic absolutely blows my mind. Thank you for your support!
> 
> Happy holidays!


	10. A long time coming

“We’re not doing that, Damian,” Cady wrinkles her nose, hooking her thumbs under the straps of her backpack. “That’ll just make a mess.”

“But it’s not painting unless you have a paint war.” Damian whines, stepping in front of the two girls and dropping to his knees on the pavement. _“Please?”_

“No, Damian,” Janis answers quickly, kicking him playfully before stepping around him. “Have one with Heather If you want, but I’m not getting involved in it and I’m definitely not going to help you clean it up,” and then, looking around. “Get up, dude. People are staring.”

Cady helps him up and he joins Janis’s side again, linking their arms together. It was a Friday and Veronica and Heather had agreed to let Damian and Cady sleep over. The plan in the morning was to go to _Target_ , buy more paint, and then finally get around to painting the galaxies on Janis’s wall. Of course Damian has to bring up the idea of paint wars again, but neither Janis nor Cady is having it.

“They’re a waste of paint.” Janis reiterates her point from the last time.

“That’s true,” Cady nods. “Besides, you’ll get all dirty and—”

“You two are no fun,” Damian pouts. “Maybe I will have one with Heather, and you’ll see how fun it is and want to join in.”

“Sure thing, buddy,” Janis chuckles, patting him on the back. “Sure thing.”

* * *

 

Even though it’s a Friday, and even though she has her friends over, Veronica still makes Janis do her homework when she gets in from school. It’s become a thing in the past couple of days, a new rule, and she ends up sitting at the kitchen table, Cady opposite her and Damian beside her as she works on a French worksheet and plans an English essay (Veronica budges on actually having to write it because it’ll take her a couple of hours to do). Cady helps her as much as she can, but Damian just laughs and takes a ton of Snapchats making fun on her.

When she finishes, she gathers everything up and heads to her room, her friends trailing behind her. She sulks as they blow up the air bed and roll out the sleeping bags that Cady brought with her side by side on it.

“I’m sleeping on the actual bed,” Damian says, flopping back onto it. “You two can share the air bed, you’re both small enough to fit on there together.”

And Janis knows what he’s doing, but she can’t call him out on it in front of Cady so she just glares at him, receiving a grin in return. Cady doesn’t seem to pick up on anything, but how enthusiastically she nods makes butterflies erupt in Janis’s stomach. She’s starting to wonder if Cady feels the same way she does—it seems like it—but there’s no way she’s going to put herself out on a line and ask. Cady is probably straight anyway, and Janis doesn’t want to ruin their friendship.

They settle down, playing on their phones until they’re called down to dinner by Heather. Janis stays largely silent, making a point of not answering any of Veronica’s questions but answering Heather’s. Veronica just laughs it off and Damian rolls his eyes at Janis across the table, nudging her with his foot.

“You’re such a child,” he accuses as they climb the stairs to retreat back to Janis’s room. “It’s just homework.”

“But it’s a Friday,” Janis pouts. “And you guys are here. It wasn’t fair.”

“If I knew she was going to make you do it I would’ve brought mine along too,” Cady says. “But hey, at least you’ve got it out of the way and you don’t have to worry about it for the rest of the weekend.”

“I guess. I’m still mad, though.”

Damian snorts. “You’re always mad at something, Jan.”

“Yeah and it’s usually you,” Janis responds, giving him the middle finger as she plops down in her desk chair and spins around. “So what do you want to do for the evening?”

Cady suggests that they watch movies, so they hunker down in the living room. Cady has first pick and chooses and old nature documentary that she finds in the back of the cabinet. Damian and Janis exchange glances, but they don’t say anything and let Cady put it on.

It’s not as bad as they expected it to be, though, and Janis finds herself genuinely enjoying it.

Cady falls asleep a little after Damian puts on _The Sound of Music_ , curled up against Janis’s side with her head leaning on Janis’s shoulder. She looks to Damian on the other end of the couch who lets out a quiet ‘aww!’ and snaps a picture. He sends it to Janis who saves it and makes it her home screen—it was a really nice picture, but she doesn’t know how Cady would react to her putting it as her lock screen. At least it was kind of hidden by her apps as her home screen and Cady doesn’t need to know—and she spends the rest of the night trying to be as still as possible to not wake Cady up.

“You should ask her,” Damian whispers, perching on the arm of the couch after switching over the movies. “Jan, I’ve seen the way she looks at you. She’s as in love with you as you are with her.”

“No way,” Janis whispers back. “I don’t even know how to go about it and she’s probably not even—”

“It’s literally as simple as saying ‘I love you, Cady Heron. Will you go out with me?’ That’s it. You’re over thinking it.”

“Maybe I am but anyway, Veronica and Heather don’t know yet,” Janis shrugs. “And I don’t want them to know because what if they don’t—”

“Janis, I’m going to stop you right there,” Damian holds up a hand. “Are you seriously about to suggest that your obviously bi or gay foster parents won’t accept you?”

“You never know!” Janis argues. “Just—I don’t want to tell them yet, okay?”

“And you don’t have to,” Damian places a hand on her shoulder. “If you don’t want to then don’t but I’m just saying that it’s a 99.9% chance that they’ll accept you. You don’t have to be scared about that.”

“I guess.” Janis shrugs and Damian pats her shoulder before reclaiming his spot on the couch.

* * *

 

They don’t make it to Janis’s room.

Damian falls asleep before Janis but she follows not too long after. She wakes up to someone nudging her and opens an eye to Cady stood over her, holding two plates of pancakes with fresh fruit. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Janis pushes herself into a sitting position and accepts the plate with a sleepy thanks. She hands the other to Damian and returns to the kitchen, rejoining them not long after with her own plate, but Heather and Veronica stay in the kitchen though Janis can hear them talking.

“They said we’d go to Target once we’ve eaten,” Cady says, spearing a chunk of strawberry on her fork. She holds up a finger as Damian opens his mouth. “I asked, but they said no to a paint war.”

“Heather you _promised!_ ” He hollers so loudly that Janis and Cady wince. There’s laughter from the kitchen, but they don’t say anything back. Damian pouts and Janis supposes that it’s his turn to sulk now.

The trip to _Target_ takes longer than it should considering that they’re just supposed to be buying paint. They mess around in the toy aisle and at some point, Cady gets separated from them and they have to go to the customer service desk and ask that they make an announcement asking Cady to meet them there.

Cady is summoned by the announcement looking slightly embarrassed and clutching a stuffed lion. “He’s cute,” she tells Janis. “I turned to look at him and when I turned around you were gone.”

Janis fights the urge to pull the other girl into a hug, and just pats her awkwardly on the back instead. They pay for their items (Cady buys herself the lion) and then meet Heather and Veronica back at the car.

Damian argues the entire way back that they should be able to have a paint war but he’s shot down more than once. Heather has to go to a meeting in less than an hour, and Veronica was always opposed to the idea so it’s out of the cards for now. Heather suggests that they can do it if they ever redecorate and that if she could skip the meeting she would. Janis almost wishes that her foster parents weren’t so easy to get along with; they’re going to steal Damian away from her, she can tell.

When they get back, she carries the tins of paint up to her room. They deflate the unused air bed and spent a few minutes draping sheets over all of her furniture so that they don’t get paint on it. Then, they’re left to their own devices with paint and paintbrushes.

Cady insists on playing music as they paint. She vetoes Damian’s suggestion of the Wicked soundtrack and Janis just shrugs when she’s asked if she has any suggestions. So Cady settles on classical music and they make light conversation as they finally start painting Janis’s walls.

It takes a lot longer than expected and it’s dark by the time they finish but once they’re done and step back, Janis is glad that they took the time. Damian and Cady step out to call their parents and ask to stay another night and Janis finds herself tearing up at the thought of possibly having to leave this room and her friends behind if the placement ever falls through. And she doesn’t know where the thought has come from; sure, it was almost a constant in the first week or so, but now she’s comfortable and she hasn’t thought about it in a while.

She wipes away the tears when she hears her door creak open and Cady rejoins her, an angelic smile in her face as she takes in the room.

“It’s so nice and pretty,” she says, leaning her head on Janis’s shoulder, not unlike last night. “Like you.”

Janis’s eyes widen and she has to keep her jaw from dropping. Her cheeks feel as if they’re on fire, and she can’t bring herself to say anything.

“Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Janis nods, quickly regaining her wits. She wants to ask Cady now, but she doesn’t. She wants the perfect moment. “I was just thinking of how lucky I am to have you and Damian as friends,” and it’s not really a lie; she thinks about it a lot. “Thank you for doing this with me.”

Cady slips her hand into Janis’s. “Thank you for inviting me,” and then, quietly. “Mom says I can’t stay another night. She’s on her way to pick me up now.”

“Oh,” A lump forms in Janis’s throat. The question dies on the tip of her tongue. “Well, that sucks.”

“Yeah, it does. Big time,” Cady nods. “But I’ve had a great time. We’ll have to do it again some time.”

“Of course,” Janis grins. “You’re always welcome here, so…”

Then Damian rejoins them with the news that he can stay, and they spend the rest of the time that it takes for Cady’s mom to get there tidying up Janis’s room. They return the sheets back to the airing cupboard and put the tins of paint in the hallway like Veronica instructs them to.

“You two are so useless, you know that?” Damian says to Janis as they wave Cady off. “I watched that whole thing from your doorway. It was your perfect chance, all you guys had to do was turn to each other and ask the damn question. It would’ve been so easy but neither of you did. I don’t know how much longer I can take this!”

“Do you really think I should ask her?”

“Babe, I’d give the devil my first born in return for it.”

“Okay that’s fucking weird,” Janis raises her eyebrows at Damian who just smiles and shrugs. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Maybe on Monday?” Damian hints.

“Maybe on Monday. But that’s a _big_ maybe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)  
> I feel like I write way too much dialogue. Sorry!!!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed though!


	11. Stuck on you

Damian comes over early on Monday morning when Janis is barely awake and struggling to keep her eyes open at the breakfast table. Veronica and Heather are right by them, so they’re confined to whispering about Cady and Janis can tell that the adults are getting suspicious by their constant glances in their direction. Janis is tempted to give them three guesses, but she knows that they’ll never come close to what they’re actually talking about.

“So when are you going to ask her?” Damian’s eyes light up as he asks the question, leaning in close to Janis. “On the bus? At lunch? After school?”

“I don’t know,” Janis lifts one shoulder in a shrug, shoveling a spoonful of cereal into her mouth. “I haven’t really put that much thought into it if I’m honest. Just—I’ll do it at some point today I guess.”

“If you chicken out I’ll no longer be your friend,” for a second Janis thinks that he’s serious, he certainly looks it, but then his face cracks into a grin and he nudges her side. “I’m just kidding. But I won’t talk to you for like three days at least.”

“Finally some fucking peace and quiet.” Janis mutters and earns a pointed look in response.

When they’re in Janis’s bedroom whilst she’s rushing about trying to get ready, late as usual, they’re able to talk better and Damian lays on Janis’s bed whilst she brushes her hair and puts on her makeup.

“Lunch would be a good time to ask her,” he muses. “Like if we head over to the gym or something where there aren’t that many people.”

“She can’t hang out with us at lunch, remember.”

“Oh yeah. Well, before school then. Not on the bus, I know I said that earlier but that’ll get around to Regina quickly,” he says and Janis curses. “What?”

“I didn’t even think about Regina,” she admits. “First we have to hide it from Heather and Veronica and then Regina. We’ll never be allowed to do normal couple stuff.”

“That’s not true,” Damian shakes his head. “You’ve got my house and Cady’s, plus they never come into your room here so—”

“I just—what’s the point in this?” Janis turns to him, frowning. “If we can’t be ourselves then what’s the point? Shouldn’t I just wait until we can?”

Damian falls silent, and Janis can almost hear the gears turning in his head. She turns back to the mirror and selects a lipstick, staring at her reflection as she applies it. She loves Cady, sure, and she wants to be with her more than anything, but she just doesn’t understand the advantages of doing it now. It can ruin their whole revenge plan if Regina finds out and although Janis is sure that Heather and Veronica will have a positive reaction, she’s still scared of telling them. 

“I still say to go for it.” Damian tells her as they’re shouldering their backpacks to rush out of the door.

School passes and Janis doesn’t ask Cady out. She wants to, and the words are on the top of her tongue as they file off the bus but she can’t bring herself to say them. Not that it’s a good time to or anything; everyone would know and Regina would be pissed.

She takes the sneers and glares in her direction from the Plastics to heart at lunch, picking at her food and avoiding Damian’s questions. By the time they file off the bus and wait for it to drive off before hugging Cady goodbye, Janis has wasted all of her opportunities.

“I know what you should do,” Damian says. “Tomorrow, after school. Ask her to go to that cafe we went to the other day after visiting Other Heather. Y’know, the one with the little cakes in the shape of lions?”

“That’s a good idea,” Janis mumbles and suddenly she’s extremely nervous. “Damian I—”

“Look, Jan,” they stop at her garden path. “I’m not going to force you into anything—I can’t, really, and I don’t want to—but we both know that this is what you want deep down. It’ll make both of you super happy and yeah, you might have to hide it for a bit but that’ll end eventually. Either way, you have my support.”

Janis blinks away the tears in her eyes and pulls him into a tight hug until his mom calls from their front step and she’s forced to let go. She waves to him and then unlocks her front door, grabs her phone from the front pocket of her backpack and dials Cady’s number.

* * *

 

The cafe isn’t too busy when Janis and Cady enter the next afternoon. Cady fawns over the cakes shaped like lion faces and orders one with her hot chocolate. Janis insists on paying and they take a seat at a small table in the farthest corner, slinging their backpacks under the table as they sit.

Janis’s phone vibrates in her pocket, and it’s either Heather, Veronica or Damian (the only three people who have her number besides Cady) but Janis ignores it. She’d genuinely forgotten to tell Heather and Veronica about it and she hasn't come up with a good enough lie yet to explain why she’s not at home, and nothing had happened thus far to update Damian on. Besides, it’s one on one time with Cady which is rare, and Janis wants to savour it as much as she can.

Right now Cady is harping on about the Plastics—apparently Regina and Aaron have been fighting recently—and Janis really doesn’t care but she listens anyway. They half the lion cake after Cady deems it too chocolatey, and Janis laughs at the ring of cream left around Cady’s mouth when she takes a sip of her hot chocolate. Cady’s oblivious until Janis points it out, but when she does and Cady checks it in her front camera, she joins in the laughter too. Janis is fairly sure that everyone else in the cafe is getting tired of them but she can’t bring herself to care when she sees the sparkle in Cady’s eyes as she tips her head back and laughs.

“So, how have things been at home?” Cady asks once they’re settled down. “With Heather and Veronica I mean.”

“Good,” Janis shrugs. “I don’t really talk to them all that much but they tend to leave me alone which is nice.”

“And how’s your room looking? Still enjoying the galaxies?”

“Of course,” Janis nods. “It’s better than just the plain blue walls I had before. Although they were cool too. It’s nice to look at them early in the morning when the sun is just coming up. They look really pretty.”

“Sounds it,” Cady smiles. “I’d love to see it some time. Maybe we could have another sleepover at some point? If that’s okay with Heather and Veronica of course.”

“They’d never deny anything involving you,” Janis thinks. _Including a relationship_ she almost adds (well, hopefully), but holds back. “Well, within reason. When’s best for you?”

“This Saturday maybe?” Cady pulls her phone out, checking her calendar. “Yeah I have nothing on and my mom thinks that you’re great so she’ll have no problems with it. Are you sure Damian will be okay with it being just the two of us?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him to throw rocks at my window at 3 in the morning to join us,” Janis shrugs. “But yeah, he will.” He’ll probably be more excited about it than the two of them are, honestly.

“He’s like a little puppy,” Cady says fondly. “I don’t know how he does it in the mornings.”

“Oh, tell me about it. He was at my house at 7:30 this morning talking my ear off. I love him to pieces, but it was hell.”

They settle into a light conversation, mainly about school and their classes. They’re in a couple together, but nowhere near the amount Janis would like. Besides, it’s not as if they could talk at school and so it was kind of hard to catch up with each other about the work.

“So what do you think of high school in general?” Janis asks. “Could anything have prepared you for the shit show that it is?”

“Nope,” Cady laughs. “If someone told me I’d be pulled into some crazy revenge scheme in my first week that then gets out on hold for trying to be detectives and finding out about my best friend’s foster mom’s past, then I would’ve calls bullshit.”

“Oh man, I’m sorry,” Janis winces, rubbing the back of her neck. “I didn’t realise how fucked up this whole thing was until now. When you put it like that it sounds—”

“Oh no, Janis it’s fine!” Cady interrupts quickly, leaning across the table to take Janis’s hands in hers. “I like it! It’s interested and there’s always something happening.”

Janis lets out a sigh of relief, looking down at their intertwined hands. “I’m glad, Caddy. I’m really glad you’re my friends.”

 _Now,_ Janis’s mind screams, _ask her now._ But she doesn’t.

She kind of regrets it when Cady’s dad comes to pick her up and she declines a lift, waving goodbye on the street corner. 

She wonders if Cady considers it as a date the same way that Janis does.

Probably not.

* * *

 

On the way home she FaceTimes Damian almost in tears.

“I had the perfect chance like on Saturday,” she says. “But I blew it and I probably won’t have another chance like that again.”

“You can ask her at the sleepover,” He reassures her. “Jan, there’s no deadline to this. If you want to wait then you totally can. I’m just joking when I say things like—”

“I know, I know,” She interrupts, wiping at her eyes. “But it just sucks because I really do want to and I think if we do start dating it’ll be easier to tell H and V, you know? I just—I don’t know. I’m useless at this.”

“You’re my favourite useless lesbian,” Damian says which makes her laugh. “Seriously, just take your time. And if you want I can join you when you tell Heather and Veronica. I can help you with that if you want. I mean I had to do the same thing with my mom, so…”

“Thanks,” she says and she means it. She’ll probably take him up on the offer; it’ll be nice to have some moral support. “You’re the best. Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow. Also, if anyone asks I was with you watching your choir rehearsals, okay?”

She hangs up before she can say anything else and unlocks the front door. She’s barely stepped inside when Veronica comes barrelling down the hallway, a disapproving look on her face.

“You missed dinner,” She points out. Janis glances at the clock, wincing when she sees the time. She honestly hadn’t registered how late it was; it was almost 8PM. “And why weren’t you answering your phone?”

“I was at Damian’s choir rehearsal,” she lies, toeing her shoes off and hanging up her coat. “I had my phone on silent so I didn’t hear you call. I’m sorry. I thought I’d told you this morning.”

“No you weren’t,” Veronica raises her eyebrows. “We called Damian’s mom two hours ago and she said that you weren’t there but he was. We called Cady’s mom too. In fact she didn’t know where Cady was either—”

Janis bristles at this, instinctively going into defense mode. “Fine. I went to a cafe with Cady. Why does it matter anyway? I wasn’t doing anything illegal, we were just catching up.”

“We’re worried about you, Janis,” Heather says, emerging into the hallway. “All of this sneaking about. I mean, this morning was a prime example. You and Damian were whispering the entire time, and then you just disappear this afternoon? What were we supposed to think?”

“I dunno,” Janis all but yells. “But maybe having a little faith in me would be nice. I’m a teenager, we sneak around and do stuff behind our pare—sorry, _guardian’s—_ back. Didn’t you do this shit when you were my age?”

“Language, Janis—”

“It’s not fair,” Janis continues. “I forgot to tell you about Cady and I going out after school. Big deal. It’s not as if I ran away or anything.”

“That’s not what we’re saying, Janis,” Veronica sighs. “It’s fine that you’ve been out and it’s okay that you forgot to tell us, we all do it, but what’s not okay is that you tried to lie about it. Why would you lie about something like that? I don’t understand.”

“I dunno,” Janis repeats, softer this time, lifting a shoulder. And she does know but there’s a reason that she isn’t telling them. “Sorry for shouting and sorry for lying. I have a headache so I’m going to bed.”

She doesn’t give them any time to respond before she storms off upstairs.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote and posted this on my phone so sorry if there’s more errors than usual. I’ll trying fix them all tomorrow. 
> 
> I hope you all have a lovely morning/afternoon/night/evening! 💖


	12. Send me high

Janis awakes at 2:30AM to the sound of something hitting her window. She’s too tired to be annoyed but when she rolls out of bed and peers out of her window to see Cady and Damian on the front path, she’s definitely not happy. Sliding up her window she narrowly misses a pebble that hits her wall and clatters to her floor and gives a withering stare to Damian who promptly drops the handfuls of pebbles that he’s holding.

“What the fuck?” She hisses once she’s let them in. “You really think thought that this was a good idea? If we get caught I’m done for. I’m already in their bad books and—”  
Damian raises his eyebrows. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Janis huffs. “They’re just making a big deal out of nothing. But even so, they’re probably going to freak out if they find you guys here. So, what was so important that you met up and came to my house at nearly 3 in the morning?”

“I’m in love with you,” Cady blurts and there’s a few seconds of stunned silence on Janis’s part. Cady crosses the room and grabs Janis’s now shaking hands. “And I couldn’t sleep until I told you.”

Janis’s mouth drops open. Her heart starts to pound in her chest. This is the moment that she’s been waiting for—okay, maybe not exactly, there is probably a better time than 2AM, but it’s the closest she’s going to get—and she can’t blow this. Not like the other times.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” She asks. “I’m in love with you too and I’ve been meaning to tell you—”

Cady cuts her off with a kiss. Janis kisses back, one hand moving to Cady’s hair with the other flipping Damian off who’s making gagging noises in the background. He’s just being an asshole for the sake of it now, and Janis really doesn’t want Veronica and Heather to walk in on this.

“Of course I’ll be your girlfriend,” Cady says once they’re situated on Janis’s bed, curled up next to each other whilst Damian sits on Janis’s desk chair. “I wanted to ask you yesterday but…”

“It just wasn’t the right time,” Janis murmurs, leaning her head on Cady’s shoulder. “There have been so many times like that. But I’m glad we found the right time, even if was nearly 3AM whilst my foster parents are sleeping a room away,” Janis straightens up a little. “Do your guys’ parents know you’re here?”

Damian shakes his head. Cady shrugs. “It’s not like I could just wake them up and tell them what I was doing.”

“They’ll figure it out,” Damian waves a hand. “Or my mom will anyway. She refers to this place as my second home. Which,” he pauses to stretch, propping up his feet on Janis’s desk. “I guess it is. I’m here more than I’m at home, let’s face it.”

“Heather and Veronica will love you if you tell them that.” Janis smiles.

“They already love me,” Damian smirks. Beside Janis Cady yawns and Damian stands up, offering a hand to Cady. “If I’m gonna walk you home then we should probably get a move on.”

Janis makes them promise to text her when they get home safe, kissing Cady once more on her porch. Damian claps her on the back, whispering an “I’m proud of you” before he leaves, and Janis closes the door once they’ve disappeared from view. She heads to the kitchen and gets a drink, wide awake and definitely not going back to sleep for the time being. She hangs around downstairs until her phone buzzes alerting her that Damian was home and then heads back up to her room.

She retrieves her canvas from the closet where she’d hurriedly stuffed it before letting Cady and Damian in, not wanting them to see what she was currently working on. It’s taking longer than she expected it to, but she should be able to get a decent amount done in the time between now and having to get ready for school.

It’s the three of them, and it’s the best painting that Janis has ever worked on.

She focuses mostly on Cady. Her girlfriend. Because referring to her like that in Janis’s head makes her feel giddy.

Janis paints until her alarm goes off and jumps in the shower before she heads downstairs to wash off the paint so that Veronica and Heather are none the wiser. She’s super exhausted at school but it’s totally worth it.

* * *

 

And school is hard. Because she’s tired and because Cady’s her girlfriend but they can’t show it. They brush shoulders in the hallway, sneak glances across the lunch room and it kills Janis but she knows that it’s only a matter of time. She’s not afraid of the people at North Shore anymore, and it’s only a week until their party when they can hopefully find out about what happened at Westerberg and then focus their energy on bringing down Regina. Once that’s done, she and Cady can do what they want.

At the end of school, Janis and Damian wait inside until the buses leave, and Cady hangs around outside to wave off the Plastics and make sure that they don’t spot them together. It’s not until Damian’s mom calls him and tells them to hurry up or she’ll leave that they eventually reunite and pile into her car.

Janis calls Heather during the short drive. “I’m going to Target with Damian and Cady. I dunno when we’ll be back but it won’t be too long— yeah, Damian’s mom is driving us and yeah, I’ll be back for dinner. Can Cady join us? Okay. Thank you. Yeah. I’ll tell them. Bye,” she hangs up, pocketing her phone. “Heather says hi.”

There’s a chorus of ‘hi’s back, and Janis sends Heather a quick text to tell her, receiving a bunch of yellow heart emojis in return.

“Party decorations, right?” Damian confirms as his mom pulls into the car park. His mom has barely shut off the engine before he’s opening the door and umping out. “Leave it to me.”

So they do. His mom goes off to get what she needs whilst the three teenagers stick together and take stupid snapchats. They can’t post them on their stories in case Regina finds out, but Janis saves, screenshots and screen records all the ones that are sent to her.

And Janis and Cady are free to be themselves, so they hold hands and kiss and make up for the time they lost whilst hiding their feelings. Damian takes more pictures than necessary but neither one of them seem to mind, and Janis has to resist the urge to make one of them her lockscreen. She’s not ready to tell Heather and Veronica.

“We’re not going to tell them tonight?” Cady asks, tilting her head. They’re waiting for Damian to pick out a tablecloth, but he’s switching between three designs.

“Not yet,” she shrugs. “I just need to figure out a way. I don’t want them to like, y’know, call Ms. Norbury or something. I like it here.”

“Janis! They wouldn’t do that!”

“You don’t know that. Just— give me some time, okay? We can tell them together if that’s what you want but just not right now,” she turns to Cady, taking one of her hands. “Soon. I promise.”

“You don’t have to rush it,” Cady shakes her head. “I’ll give you all the time you need. _We_ don’t need to rush things either.”

“I know, and I don’t want to rush it,” Janis says, leaning her forehead against Cady’s and locking eyes. “I’ve been waiting for this for—”

“Not even a day in and it’s already clear that you two are the clingiest couple on Earth,” Damian interrupts, wrinkling his nose as he tosses the chosen tablecloth into the basket Cady was carrying. “C’mon lovebirds, we’ve gotta pay and get to the car within two minutes or mom’s gonna drive off.”

* * *

 

On the way home Cady’s mom calls her to tell her that she can’t go to Janis’s for dinner. Janis blinks back tears and calls Heather and Veronica to let them know. They drop Cady off first, obviously, and Cady tells Janis that she doesn’t mind her mom knowing (and Damian’s promises not to tell Heather and Veronica) so they kiss goodbye on Cady’s front porch.

Then Janis is dropped off and she fistbumps Damian as he rolls down his window—”I’m not getting out to hug you. It’s cold.”—He’d promised to keep and hide the decorations which Janis was definitely grateful for and she swears that she’ll find the money to pay him back somehow despite his insistence that it’s fine. The conversation is cut short when the front door opens and she hurriedly waves him goodbye as she runs up the path.

“We need to talk.” Is all Heather says once Janis has kicked off her shoes and hung up her coat. Janis’s heart sinks.

“What about?”

“You and I need to go shopping for something for V for her birthday,” Heather says in a low voice. “I have to head out to grab something for dinner, and if you don’t mind coming with me then we can have a look around a few different stores and see if there is anything you think she’ll like.”

“Oh, uh,” Janis laughs, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. “Well, I was actually thinking of painting her something but sure.”

They stop off at Walmart first, buying the ingredients for lasagna before stopping at a small jeweller's where Heather picks up an expensive looking ring that Janis is sure that Veronica is going to absolutely love.

“My dad owned a jewellers shop back in Sherwood,” Heather tells Janis as they’re heading back across the parking lot, admiring the ring in its box. “Sold engagement rings mostly. Veronica absolutely loved one similar to this. It sold before I had the money to buy it, back when we just started dating. I’ve been looking for it ever since and this is the closest I’m going to get.”

“That’s cute,” Janis says, and then wrinkles her nose. “But it’s also extremely soppy and gross at the same time.”

“I just hope that she remembers it,” Heather shrugs, closing the box and slipping it back into the bag. “Or else it’ll just be a bit random. V’s not really one for jewellery, but…”

“She’ll love it,” Janis smiles. “Whether she remembers the other ring or not.”

They end up in Bath & Body Works for Janis to find her something—she’s still going to paint her something, so they stop by Target too to pick up another canvas since Janis is currently using the one they’d bought her—and she settles on a couple of candles and some body wash. Janis isn’t too sure on what scents Veronica would like, so Heather helps her. Their final stop is a card shop, and whilst Heather browses the designs for wife, Janis hovers around mom. But she can’t bring herself to actually pick one, although the plain happy birthday cards feel too impersonal. She eventually settles on a ‘like a mom to me’ card and, for reasons unknown to her, tries to hide it from Heather to the best of her ability although it doesn't work when she's the one paying.

“She’ll love that, you know?” Heather says softly as they get into the car. “She worries that you don’t like her.”

“No! I mean I—I like her. I like both of you,” Janis admits, and it feels weird to say that out loud but Janis supposes this hasn’t been a day spent inside of her comfort zone and she’s done alright so far, so she may as well try pushing it. “I’m just a bitch sometimes, get defensive easily. Mom used to say I get too defensive for my own good.”

“Veronica is the same,” Heather shrugs. “And I think she forgets how badly we behaved as teenagers. Sure, you sneak around a little and yeah, that’s still not okay, but I don’t think she remembers the things we used to do. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to. But either way I gave my parents so many heart attacks staying out late and partying a little too hard. She did too and— I’m saying too much. She’s going to kill me...”

“I think you should keep talking.” Janis chuckles.

“Well, my point is, even though it’s taking me forever to get there” Heather smiles, shaking her head slightly. “That maybe Veronica and I need to just take a step back and chill a little. We need to start remembering that you’re just a kid. I’m sorry for last night. You’re right, we should have more faith in you and we’ll try. I promise.”

“I appreciate that.” Janis nods. She taps her fingers against her leg, unsure of exactly what she should be doing right now. She wants to distract herself, but pulling out her phone seems rude.

“So. Are we cool?”

“Yeah. Sure. We were never really uncool.”

“I think V’s going to apologise to you after we have dinner,” Heather says as they pull into the driveway. She turns off the engine and turns to Janis. “I’d appreciate it if you don’t mention anything about this trip. Other than to get the food, of course.”

“Wouldn’t dream of spoiling it,” Janis shrugs. “D’you want me to hide all of the stuff in my backpack? I’ll shove it on the shelf in my closet and you can grab it whenever.”

“Sounds good,” Heather smiles, a hand on Janis’s shoulder. “Now let’s go in before she starts to get suspicious. We’ve already taken far too long for a simple lasagna run.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)
> 
> EVERYONE IS TRYING THEIR BEST AND I LOVE THEM
> 
> idk i feel like a lot happens in this chapter and it's kinda rushed?? i hope u still enjoy though


	13. Beast in the belly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _oh no folks_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> TW: referenced suicide, referenced murder and underage drinking

When Veronica’s birthday, and therefore the day of the party, arrives, Janis is so nervous that she can barely talk. It makes the morning difficult.

She’s woken by Heather loudly singing down the hall, and hops in the shower quickly before Veronica gets out of bed. Reluctantly she joins them at the table and does her best to join in the conversation. She hands Veronica her card and directs her gaze down to the table so that she doesn’t have to see her reaction to the words written on the front, but by the way Veronica pulls her into the tightest hug Janis has ever received, she assumes that it’s a positive one.

“I know we’re doing presents later but I thought I’d tell you now that your main present isn’t quite ready yet,” Janis says, still to the table. “I just need a little bit more time.”

“Main present?” Veronica lifts an eyebrow. “I like the sounds of that.”

“It’s nothing special,” Janis shrugs. “But I haven’t finished with it yet so…”

“That’s fine, Janis,” Veronica smiles, and pulls her into another awkward side hug. “And you’re sure that you’re fine being alone for most of today whilst we’re out with Heather and Martha?”

“Yeah. I mean, I won’t be alone ‘cause Cady and Damian are coming over,” and a bunch of your old classmates, she almost adds but stops herself. “But yeah, we’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.”

They take their time eating breakfast for once, Heather serving up a variety of foods. Nobody has to rush off to school or work and so they sit and talk and eat. It nice; they don’t really get chances like this, and Janis fills them in on school as best as she can. In turn, she receives a rundown of all of Veronica’s co-workers from most to least annoying. Heather rambles on about a TV show that she’s watching and makes Janis promise to watch it when she can. Over the course of the conversation Janis works her way through four chocolate chip pancakes and she’s just started on a waffle when the doorbell rings.

She waves them goodbye and promises that she’ll clean up for them. They’ve barely driven off when Cady and Damian appear from behind a parked car across the street, armed with the decorations that they had bought the other day. They dump them in the entryway and Damian makes a beeline for the kitchen before they start to set up, claiming that he can’t work on an empty stomach. Janis finishes her waffle and watches and Damian makes his way through at least half of what had been left. Cady makes a good attempt at a stack of pancakes.

After losing a game of rock, paper, scissors, Janis gets stuck with the clearing up whilst Damian and Cady start on the decorations. She pouts the entire time and tries not to bop her head along to the songs blaring from Damian’s phone. She dries off the plates, puts everything away and is finally able to join in with the decorating.

She’s sure that Veronica is going to love the number of pictures they’d gathered.

“My mom will be along later with the food,” Cady says as Janis is stood on a chair attempting to hang a banner. “She went a little bit overboard, but it should be fine right? People will eat it?”

“I mean, I guess so?” Janis shrugs. “I don’t really know any of the people coming but I would assume so.”

“When are people arriving?” Damian calls from the kitchen.

“4!” Janis calls back. “Martha and Other Heather are going to keep Veronica and My Heather out until 5, so we have at least an hour to become detectives.”

They work hard for most of the morning and then, once they’re finally done with the decorating, they head upstairs to Janis’s bedroom. Her painting of her, Heather and Veronica is on her easel and Cady gasps when she enters.

“It’s so pretty!”

“Thanks,” Janis’s cheeks glow at the praise, and she presses a kiss to Cady’s lips. “It’s not finished, though. I’ve still got a little bit to do.”

Damian and Cady take a seat on Janis’s bed whilst she picks up her paintbrush. By the time 4 rolls around, Janis is covered in paint, Damian is halfway through an episode of something, and Cady is asleep. Janis snaps a few pictures before Damian insists on waking her up and she does as Damian hurries downstairs to answer the door. Janis scrubs the paint off of her face in the bathroom and changes into something a little more appropriate for a party than her pyjamas. Cady gets changed too and sits on the floor whilst Janis french braids her hair at her request.

Once they’re presentable they head downstairs together, tapping Damian on the shoulder for him to go upstairs and get changed.

“I didn’t know they had a daughter,” one of the classmates is saying as they usher them through to the living room. Cady dipped into the kitchen to go and get the snack bowls and fill them up. “So are you Veronica’s or Heather’s?”

“Uh,” it’s not a questions Janis was expecting to be asked. “Actually I’m neither’s. I’m a foster kid so…”

“Oh,” the man says. “I’m sorry, that was insensitive.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Janis shrugs. “So… what was Veronica like in school?”

“Kind of a nobody until senior year,” he says. Cady returns with the snacks and a few other people who’d rung. Damian joins them not long after, freshened up. “Then she got in with the Heathers and it all kind of went crazy from there.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well Heather Chandler killed herself, Kurt and Ram killed themselves and to top it all off, Veronica’s boyfriend blew himself up and the whole year was kind of a mess,” Janis glances towards Damian and Cady. This was good. This was what they wanted and they hadn’t even had to pry. “I heard a rumour that JD was going to blow up the entire school but Veronica talked him out of it. I mean, it’s just a rumour but that’d make a hell of a story to tell the grandkids, huh?”

“Yeah,” Janis laughs awkwardly. “So do you believe the rumour?”

“Oh totally,” another classmate, a woman this time, chimes in. “He was insane. I heard that he had something to do with the suicides that happened but I’m not sure whether I believe that or not. I could see it, but it doesn’t really make sense.”

Janis blinks hard, trying to process everything that she was being told. So, Veronica dates a psychopath? Someone who might have threatened to blow up the whole school? It was no wonder that Heather Duke didn’t want Janis, Damian and Cady to know about that. Also that he might have a hand in the suicides, that was interesting. That would definitely be something that the adults would want to cover up and Janis doesn’t think that it’s too much of a stretch to assume that if JD was caught up in all of this, then so was Veronica. The thought doesn’t sit right with her, it makes her feel a little sick if she’s honest, but it’s something that she can’t exactly rule out.

Mr and Mrs. Heron arrive at 4:30 sharp with the food and Janis leaves Damian to lay it out on the kitchen. Janis thanks the Herons over and over and offers to pay although that’s quickly shot down.

“Just have a good party, okay?” Mrs. Heron smiles, placing a hand on Janis’s shoulder. “We might drop by later on.”

“That’ll be nice,” Janis smiles. “Thanks again for the food, it was really kind of you.”

Janis is a bundle of nerves by 5. When she gets the text that they’re nearing the street she runs around turning off all of the lights except for her bedroom light, and gets into position crouched behind the bookcase in the living room.

They hear Veronica’s voice. Hear a key in the lock. Hear the door open. Hear the light switch being flipped. Hear footsteps coming toward the living room.

_**“SURPRISE!”** _

There’s a cacophony of noise as people jump out from behind things, and then there’s a beat of silence as Veronica takes everyone in and bursts into laughter. Heather, Heather and Martha join them and Cady, Damian and Janis stand awkwardly to the side as everyone starts embracing the birthday girl and their other friends.

The party goes pretty well if Janis does say so herself. There’s decent music courtesy to Damian’s Spotify playlists, the food is delicious and everyone seems happy for the most part.

They give Veronica her presents midway through, and Janis watches Veronica’s face light up when she sees the ring Heather bought her. She hands her the assortment of Bath & Body items that she got and feels her face heat up when Veronica insists on giving her a hug and presses a kiss to her forehead in front of everyone.

It’s only when everyone is starting to filter out and the party starts slowly coming to an end that things don’t seem right.

First off, Janis is pretty sure that she’s a little bit more than just tipsy; someone had handed her a cup of god-knows-what that she’d drank with no question and then got refills (nobody stopped her, so she didn’t think it was that big of a deal at the time. She didn’t mean to get drunk. Tipsy at the most. But she guesses she doesn’t really know her limits; that was her downfall), and secondly, Veronica is shouting at someone in the kitchen. Janis wants to get up and see what’s going on, but the couch is comfortable and Cady is running her fingers through her hair.

The shouting eventually stops, and Damian and Cady say their goodbyes just after midnight. Janis steals a kiss once she’s sure that nobody is looking, and waves goodbye to the both of them. And she’s not sure how when it happens, but she ends up on the floor of the hallway when she goes to close the door. A second look around her surroundings results in her spotting the shoe she’s tripped over, and she giggles to herself before getting up and nudging it out of the way. She closes the door successfully this time and makes her way to the kitchen, relying more on the wall to keep upright than she likes to admit.

“Janis are you—” Heather starts.

“Yes,” Janis cuts her off, holding up a finger. “But, in my defense, I was left unsupervised.”

“You weren’t unsupervised I—” Heather shakes her head. “Here, c’mon we should get you upstairs and to bed. You’re sixteen you’re not supposed to be drinking.”

Janis is more than willing to go upstairs—sleep does sound extremely good right now—but when Heather moves, Janis catches sight of Veronica’s tear-stained face and that’s no good. Veronica isn’t supposed to be upset right now. It was her birthday and Janis had thrown her a good party. She was supposed to be happy.

“Veronica,” she says, pulling her arm from Heather’s grasp. “Turn that frown upside down, man.”

“Janis—”

“No, she’s upset. Why is she upset? She’s not supposed to be—”

“Janis it’s fine,” Heather sighs, wrapping an arm around Janis’s shoulders. “Someone just said something that they shouldn't and V got a little upset. It’s fine. Now you—”

“Was it about the— about bomb boy?” Janis hiccups. “Uh, JD. That’s his name, right? Was it about him? When he— when he tried to blow up the school but you stopped him— or-or was it about when he maybe killed Heath—?”

“Janis!” Heather’s voice is harsh and her hand digs into Janis’s arm a little too hard. Janis cuts off her rambling immediately, aware, even though she’s drunk as fuck right now, that she’s fucked up completely. She shouldn’t have said that. She should not have said any of that.

She doesn’t know what to say as Heather drags her upstairs and tosses a set of pyjamas onto her bed.

“I didn’t mean to,” is all she manages, her voice wavering. “Heather I really didn—”

“Whether you meant to say it or not doesn’t matter, Janis,” Heather huffs and Janis has fucked up. Oh God, she’s fucked up. “You said it. But we’re not having this talk now. Not whilst you’re,” she gestures to her. “Not whilst your drunk. We’ll talk in the afternoon providing you don’t feel too bad. Now go to sleep.” And Heather’s voice is unusually cold and she closes the door with more force than necessary.

Janis doesn’t even bother getting changed into the pyjamas, flopping back onto the bed.

She’ll be lucky to be here tomorrow afternoon, she thinks. They’re probably on the phone to her social worker right now.

She’ll miss them. She’ll miss Damian and Cady, too. God, she’d only just got a girlfriend and now she was more than likely going to have to leave her. All because she drank what she knew she wasn’t supposed to and couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)  
> I'M SORRY DON'T BE TOO MAD AT ME


	14. I'm worse for weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for vomiting

Janis wakes up with a throbbing head and a churning stomach. She doesn’t know who put it there, but there’s a glass of water and two painkillers on her bedside table. She swallows them gratefully and flops back against her pillow, letting out a quiet groan. All she has to do now is wait for them to kick in, right? That shouldn’t take too long.

Thankfully her head isn’t pounding as hard when her phone starts to ring, and she fumbles to answer it before it stops. She doesn’t even look at the caller ID but when she holds it to her ear it’s clear it’s Damian by the Wicked soundtrack playing in the background.

“Hello?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.” She says and Damian chuckles.

“Yeah, you were pretty drunk,” he says. “I did try and come over, but Heather and Veronica said that you were grounded. I saw Cady go in earlier, she didn’t talk to you?”

“No. And grounded? Why—?” Janis frowns. She starts racking her brains for what she could have done wrong. Besides getting drunk of course. Her stomach lurches. Oh no. “Damian, I-I’m gonna have to call you back. I love you.”

“I love you too. Are you oka—” Janis doesn’t even bother hanging up as she drops her phone onto her covers and tries to ignore the room spinning as she stands up.

She stumbles down the hall and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her with shaking hands and, by some modern miracle, she manages to make it to the toilet before she throws up. Once she’s done she slumps down onto the tiles and makes no effort to stop the tears streaking down her cheeks. She’s fucked up super badly and Veronica and Heather probably hate her. It’s all a little foggy in her mind but she can remember the coldness of Heather’s voice and the look on Veronica’s face and then she’s sobbing and she can’t stop.

If either Heather or Veronica hear her, they don’t come and check on her.

Janis cries until she can’t anymore. Until her eyes and cheeks are stinging and she feels numb. Slowly she gets up off the floor, flushes the toilet and washes her face. She brushes her teeth to try and get rid of the foul taste in her mouth and then hesitates by the door, listening out for either one of her foster parents. She doesn’t want to face them right now—isn’t sure that she can—so she wants to make sure that they’re not out in the hallway before she leaves.

She makes it back to her room undetected and quickly locks her door. Crawling back under her covers she searches for her phone and puts it on do not disturb mode before shoving it under her pillow and staring across at the galaxies painted on her wall. Her Cady and Damian had had such a fun time painting those and it had all been for nothing. Come tomorrow afternoon Janis will probably be shipped off somewhere different and the walls will eventually be painted over by the next kid to have this room. And let’s be real, whoever that ends up being deserves Veronica and Heather’s kindness more than Janis does. They more than likely won’t throw it back in their faces like she did.

She wonders whether she should start packing her things. Whether saying goodbye to Damian and Cady would be easier over call or text than it will be face to face. It’s not like she’s had to do this before—she didn’t have notice at the last place, and other than her supposed-to-be-adoptive parents, she didn’t have anyone to say goodbye to—and she’s freaking out a little. What if the next place is horrible? What if she can never find friends that compare to Damian and Cady? What if she never finds a girlfriend?

And all of this was Janis’s fault. Her fault for fucking up and her fault for letting herself get so comfortable. She knew what she was getting into going into this, had kept her guard up for the first week.

She should have never let it fall.

Janis hides in her room for most of the day. She hears Heather and Veronica going up and down the stairs, hears their voices in the hallway and hears them downstairs. She knows that she needs to go out and apologise but she doesn’t know how. It’s selfish, but she doesn’t know if she can handle it backfiring on her. She doesn’t know if she can cause any more hurt or upset to those who have given her literally everything. They’ve opened their house to her, fed her and sure, they’re not her real parents but they might as well be.

Janis loves them almost as much and thinking about it causes a dull ache in her chest. She misses her mom and dad so much. She misses her almost-adoptive parents so much. She doesn’t want to lose another set of parents.

There’s no hiding when Heather calls her down to dinner. She contemplates just staying in her room, but then again she needs to eat and she can’t hide from this forever. Reluctantly she leaves, heads downstairs into the kitchen.

“Where’s Veronica?” She asks taking her seat. The tension in the air is strong.

“She, uh, she went for a walk. Wasn’t hungry.” Heather says, clearing her throat. Janis feels tears well up in her eyes because she knows it’s because of her. Because of what she said. Veronica was avoiding her.

“She’s mad at me, isn’t she?” Janis says miserably.

“Yeah. Yeah she is,” Heather says. “And she has a right to be, Janis.”

“I know. I messed up big time. I’m sorry,” there’s a lump in Janis’s throat that makes swallowing difficult. She pushes her food around her plate, focuses on it instead of the tension. “I’ll pack my stuff up tonight.”

There’s no response from Heather. Janis’s breath hitches in her throat but she fights back the tears and manages a few forkfuls of lasagna before her stomach is churning again. She excuses herself and practically sprints upstairs. She heard the front door open just as she locks hers, and she knows that she should go down again and actually apologise but she can’t bring herself to.

She plugs in her headphones, puts on one of the spotify playlists that Damian made her and puts the music up to the highest that she can stand it. She needs to distract herself before she completely falls apart.

The logical thing to do is paint, it’s what she usually does when she’s stressed out, and she wants to, but the painting on the easel only makes her sob. It’s the same with the one hidden in her closet of her and her friends. But she doesn’t have a spare canvas, so she settles on scribbling some doodles in her sketchbook. It’s hard to draw and cry at the same time but she knows that she’s not going to stop any time soon.

Damian starts a group call on facetime. Janis keeps her phone on her desk, camera pointed up to the ceiling so that they don’t see her blotchy face. When Cady asks why she’s sniffing so much she lies and says that she’s caught a cold. Cady asks a couple of more times throughout the call but she doesn’t really push it when Janis gives the same answer, so Janis just sits there, shading in the sketch she’s drawn and only half listening to their conversation.

She can’t bring herself to mention her leaving and guilt settles in the pit of her stomach as she hangs up and promises that she’ll see them at school tomorrow. Depending on the time that Ms. Norbury comes to pick her up, that could be a lie. Janis doesn’t even want to think about having to start at a new school.

Janis doesn’t mean to fall asleep before 8 but she does, and when she wakes up on top of her covers several hours later she’s a little disoriented at first. She needs a drink but she takes the time to change into pyjamas first and switches off her light as she ventures out into the hall. She’s wide awake as she heads downstairs and she supposes that once she’s had her drink it’ll be a good idea to start packing up her things, however much she really doesn’t want to.

“Janis?” Veronica’s voice comes from the kitchen table as Janis enters the kitchen. “What are you doing up?”

“Uh,” Janis freezes. “I was just— I needed a drink. You?”

“Couldn’t sleep and I have some emails I have to reply to.” The woman gestures to her laptop in front of her.

“Veronica, I’m so sorry,” Janis is saying before she can stop herself. “I shouldn’t have been drunk last night, that was stupid and reckless of me, and I definitely shouldn’t have said what I said. It wasn’t fair. I-I’m not mad at you for sending me away. I would do the same if I was in your posit—”

“We’re not sending you away, Janis,” Veronica frowns. “There’s going to be consequences. Big ones. I’m not going to say that I’m happy with you right now. But we’re not going to send you away.”

“Oh,” Janis grabs a glass and moves to the sink, unsure of what to say as she fills her glass. What Veronica had said was a little backhanded, but Janis deserves it she guesses. “Okay. I just— earlier when I mentioned it to Heather she— never mind. Just, um. Thanks,” she starts to leave, but she stops and turns around. “Damian said I was grounded?”

“Yeah,” Veronica nods. “Indefinitely. No having Damian or Cady over or going to their houses—”

“That’s not fair!” Janis argues. And it definitely is, but if she can’t have Cady over that means she can’t see her. They can’t just hang out at school like she and Damian do. “Please, Veronica—”

“I think it’s more than fair,” Veronica interrupts. “Janis, you went behind my back to get information about my past that I didn’t want you finding out for a good reason. Not only that but you got drunk, too.”

“What do you mean I went behind your back?” And it’s true, Janis can’t deny it, but she wants to know how Veronica knows. “How do you—”

“Cady told me everything this morning,” Veronica says. “About how you threw the party to find everything out, how you’ve been planning this for weeks. And I know that you’re also going to start planning revenge on Regina and I absolutely do not condone that. If you do anything to that girl you’re going to be in trouble. We’ll think more about it later, but I don’t know what’s gotten into you, Janis. None of this is the way to handle things.”

There’s a stunned silence as Janis takes that in. Cady had snitched on them? That’s why Damian had seen her earlier and it would explain why she hadn’t tried to speak to Janis. Also why she was so worried about Janis crying on the facetime earlier; maybe she was worried that it had all blown up in Janis’s face. Considerate, Janis thinks snarkily, real considerate, Cady.

“I’m, uh. I’m going back to bed.” Janis says bluntly and leaves the kitchen to go back to her room.

Great. She hasn’t really made things better with Veronica and now she’s been told that Cady has spilled everything. What is she supposed to do with that information? She doesn’t think that Cady planned to when coming over but maybe it was a spur of the moment thing, maybe she panicked when she was told that Janis was grounded and thought that Veronica already knew? There was no way that Cady would be trying to get Janis in trouble; that wasn’t her.

Unsurprisingly her call to Cady goes unanswered and unsurprisingly when she calls Damian next, he picks up.

“Hey. You think you can climb the tree by my window?”

“I can sure as hell try.”

It turns out that he can and soon enough they’re both cross-legged on Janis’s floor. She fills him in on what’s happening, clamps her hand over his mouth when he starts to get too loud and has to promise that he won’t kill Cady tomorrow morning.

“I really don’t think that she meant it in a bad way,” she whispers. “I think she just freaked out, y’know? I mean I’d be in trouble even if Veronica didn’t know about it so it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Not that big of a deal?” Damian throws his head back in a laugh that is abruptly cut off by Janis’s foot connecting with his shin. When he glares at her Janis presses a finger to her lips. “Janis, it kinda is. Now Veronica knows you did everything deliberately. Before you could have played it off but…”

And Janis hasn’t thought about it like that but Damian’s point does make a lot of sense. Yeah, she’d be in trouble either way but surely this makes things worse. Janis really doesn’t want to know Veronica’s opinion of her right now.

“So what do I do?” Janis asks. “Do I confront her about it? Or, like, just pretend it never happened?”

“You’ve gotta talk to her about it,” Damian says. “I don’t think you should be rude about it but you have to let her know that what she’s done isn’t right or fair. Yeah, she might have panicked and she might not have meant it in a bad way but you’re in more trouble now than you were before.”

“You don’t know that,” Janis shrugs. “Maybe Heather and Veronica—”

“Jan,” Damian takes her hands, staring into her eyes. “I can’t make you talk to her about it, so if you don’t want to then don’t, but just think about it okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.” Janis says, taking a deep breath. “I’ll think about it.”

She helps Damian out of the window as much as she can and watches him shimmy down the trunk and sprint across the front garden. He turns to wave at her just before he crosses the road, and she returns it before closing her window, shutting her curtains and crawling into bed.

Pulling out her phone to set an alarm she hesitates over Cady’s contact, eventually pulling up their text messages.

 **Janis:** we need to talk tomorrow abt something important. meet me in the art room at lunch pls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	15. Give me strength

Janis skips eating breakfast at home the next day, not willing to face either of her foster parents and instead grabbing an apple and a granola bar from the kitchen just before Damian knocks on the door. She doesn’t even say bye before she leaves, and Damian picks up on that as they head to the bus stop.

She shrugs off his concern, telling him that it’ll probably be a while before things were back to normal but that it’ll all be fine eventually. She’s not really sure in what she’s saying, but it seems to relax Damian so she just shrugs it off and starts to eat her apple as the bus pulls away.

Janis hasn’t been surprised when Cady hadn’t knocked on the door alongside Damian, but when she doesn’t board the bus at her stop Janis begins to worry. Firing off a couple of texts she receives nothing back over the course of the drive to school—Cady doesn’t even open them—and Damian reassures her that it’s not her fault; Cady’s probably just sick, or maybe she’s oversleeping, but Janis can’t get the thought out of her head that maybe it’s because of their hastily planned meeting. Maybe she’s avoiding Janis on purpose and it’s logical because of Janis had done the same thing as Cady she’d want to hide too, but it doesn’t make Janis fee great. Like maybe there was some malicious intent behind spilling everything to Veronica.

Just thinking about that makes Janis feel awful, more about the fact that she’s even considering that as an option rather than Cady’s betrayal if that’s true, and she’s suddenly not hungry enough to eat her granola bar. She hands it to Damian instead who devours it even though he was telling Janis about the big breakfast his mom had cooked that morning only minutes before.

“So what are you going to do now?” He asks as they walk up the stone steps to the high school. “Are you just going to wait it out until she comes back.”

Janis shrugs. “I could go over there today,” she suggests and it’s a bad idea but she needs to know Cady’s reasonings. “After school. Just get off at her stop instead of our own.”

“That’s one of the worst ideas I’ve heard in a while,” Damian grimaces. “Besides, you’re grounded. Veronica and Heather will kill you.”

“It’s not as if they don’t already hate me,” Janis says. “Besides, it won’t take long. I’ll just tell them the buses are late or something.”

“That would work if you couldn’t literally see the bus stop from your living room window.”

“Fine. I’ll tell them I have detention or something.”

“I mean, that’s better but it’s still kind of dumb. You could get in so much trouble, Janis, is it really worth it?”

“I dunno,” Janis snaps. Damian looks hurt and so she forces herself to stop for a couple of seconds, take a deep breath and calm down. Then softer, “but I have to know. Soon. As much as I want it to be it isn’t something that we can just brush off.”

And Janis spends the rest of the school day with a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She barely touches the cheese fries she gets for lunch, having not wanted to stay downstairs long enough to pack herself a lunch last night, and texts Heather telling her that she has detention for flicking rubber bands at people in math. She spends the next half an hour declining calls from both Heather and Veronica and Damian looks uneasy every time she presses the red button.

They’re oddly silent on the bus, and Janis leans her head on his shoulder until they get to Cady’s stop. He pats her on the back, wishes her good luck and then forlornly waves at her at the bus drives away.

And Janis is so nervous walking up Cady’s from path that her hands are shaking as she presses the doorbell. She hides them in the pockets of her jacket and rocks back and forth whilst she waits for the door to be opened. She’s not sure who she wanted to open the door, Cady it Mr. or Mrs. Heron, because any one of them would be awkward, but when the door finally opens and Janis’s eyes don’t fall on Cady’s face, she’s a little disappointed.

“Uh, I was wondering if I could see Cady?” She asks, still rocking back and forth and dropping her gaze down to her shoes. “I need to talk to her about something important.”

“I’d love to, Janis,” Mrs. Heron says. “But Veronica has already called me and told me about you being grounded. You should be at home right now.”

“I know, but I really need to talk to her and—”

“As much as I would love to let you, I can’t. If I ever need to ground Cady and your moms didn’t honour that, I’d be upset. She’s sick anyway,” Mrs. Heron reaches out, placing a hand gently on Janis’s shoulder. “ Look, I won’t tell them that you were here, okay? I know that things are a bit rocky. Cady told me.”

“Yeah,” Janis says, scuffing her shoe. “Thanks for that. And, uh, I hope Cady gets better soon.”

Mrs. Heron promises to pass Janis’s message on and Janis waves goodbye. She heads to a nearby cafe, orders a hot chocolate and sits at a table to get a start on some of her homework. She can’t go back home yet—she needs to make it believable that she has detention—and so at least she’s killing the time doing something productive instead of loitering on street corners or walking aimlessly.

She’s a little disappointed that Mrs. Heron wouldn’t let her in, although she totally understands the reasoning, and the heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach won’t go away as much as she wants it to. Cady’s avoidance to approach the subject isn’t doing her any favours, and Janis is scared to find out the truth. She’s contemplating just backing down, telling Cady that it doesn’t matter and that they should just drop it. But she’s halfway through drafting a text to Cady when she realises that, no, it does matter. Whether Cady meant it to be or not it was a betrayal.

Not to mention that thanks to the detention lie, Janis is in even more trouble than she already was. For nothing. To be turned away at Cady’s doorstep.

Janis just wants a goddamn break.

She leaves the cafe once she finishes her math worksheet and starts the walk home. Hooking her thumbs underneath her backpack straps she keeps her gaze down for most of the way. She’s not really looking forward to going home; Veronica and Heather are going to be angry and she’s going to have to sit there and listen to them tell her how disappointed they are and they’re going to take away her phone and not let her see her friends for longer than they were already planning.

And Janis knows that she’s hurt them too, that surely this can’t be easy for them either, but she’s still mad about it. She’s mad about a lot of things at the moment.

She hesitates when the house comes into view, stopping and shuffling from foot to foot anxiously. She has half a mind to just run, to just take off and see where she ends up, but that will just land her in even hotter water so she just tries to calm herself down a little and forces herself to walk up to the front door.

Her hand is shaking as she unlocks the door and she pushes it open, taking off her shoes and coat as fast as she can once she steps in. Somehow she makes it to her room without being interrupted and breathes a sigh of relief when she locks the door behind her. With her back to it, she slides down and rests her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. A headache is starting to pound and she lets out a quiet groan because _damn_ , today is not being kind.

She naps until dinner. Heather wakes her by knocking on her door, and she groggily makes her way downstairs to the table. Veronica’s there this time and so is the tension. But it’s thicker this time, almost suffocating and Janis doesn’t know what to say or what to do because she doesn’t want to make it worse.

“So,” Veronica says. “You got detention?”

“Mhm,” Janis says, spearing some pasta on her fork. “Sorry.”

“Did you say sorry to the people you were flicking bands at?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna need your phone once we’re done eating,” Veronica raises her eyebrows. “I’ll give it back to you in the morning when you head off to school, but it comes right back to me when you get back home. For a week at least, providing that you’re on your best behaviour from now on.”

Janis just huffs and chews on a forkful of pasta to avoid answering. She stays silent for most of the meal and doesn’t have dessert because she can’t bear being there any longer. After reluctantly handing her phone to Veronica she retreats back upstairs. On the way back to her room she heads into the bathroom, grabs some painkillers from the medicine cabinet that she washes down with water to make her headache a little less painful, and then jumps in the shower.

Heading back to her room she closes her curtains, turns on her desk lamp and rests her sketchbook on her lap, tapping her pencil on the side of her desk whilst she tries to come up with something to draw. The unfinished painting on her easel is taunting, and she wants to finish it because it’s nice but she’s not sure if Veronica will appreciate it. Not currently, anyway, until Janis actually apologises to her and finds some way to put everything right.

Instinctively she finds herself reaching for her phone to ask Damian for advice, but the pocket she usually keeps it in is empty and she lets her head fall down onto the desk. When she can be bothered to find the motivation she puts away her sketchbook and pencil, deeming it a lost cause for now, and moves from her desk chair to her bed. Grabbing her laptop she turns it on and pulls up facebook, firing off a couple of messages to Damian.

 **Janis Sarkisian:** how do i apologise to veronica?   
it has to be serious and heartfelt  
i know it has to be me to do it but like i just suck at emotions so i could really use your help  
 **Damian Hubbard:** write her a note or a card or something?  
better yet make one. itll prove that uve put effort into it  
i mean ull have to still apologize to her face but the card is something permanent for her to refer back to  
 **Janis Sarkisian** : dude thats actually a good idea   
thanks  
also before u ask Im not answering your texts bc I got my phone taken away as punishment for the fake detention thing  
or maybe the whole going behind veronicas back. im not quite sure  
 **Damian Hubbard:** on that topic u never told me what happened at cadys  
im guessing that means it went well but  
 **Janis Sarkisian:** kinda the opposite   
her mom wouldnt let me in  
veronica had called to let her know i was grounded so that sucked  
but cady cant hide forever yknow? Eventually shes gonna have to come back to school  
 **Damian Hubbard:** jan that sounds rlly intimidating  
ur intimidating me  
 **Janis Sarkisian:** i’m just saying that shes going to have to speak to me at some point  
id rather it be sooner than later but she obviously doesnt share that sentiment  
 **Damian Hubbard:** honestly cant blame her  
anyway i gotta go shower so see u tomorrow. go make that card u talented little lesbian <3  
 **Janis Sarkisian:** thats the nicest thing uve ever called me  
love u  
see u tomorrow <3 <3 <3

Switching off her laptop, Janis stretches and moves back to her desk. She picks up her sketchbook again, turns to a clean page and starts drafting out designs for the card. It takes her a while to settle on one that she likes but she eventually does and picks out some card from her stash shoved in a desk drawer.

Writing the card takes the longest, and Janis has so many rough drafts in her notebook. She’s careful writing it out and reads it over and over before she finally finishes and leaves the card on her desk as she switches off the desk lamp and gets into bed.

She can give Veronica the card tomorrow morning when she retrieves her phone, and that way she can run out of the door before Veronica has the chance to read it. That way she has the whole of school to come up with something to say and maybe then Veronica will start to forgive her. Janis doesn’t exactly have a way with words, but she and Damian will figure something out she’s sure of it.

Janis falls asleep hoping that Cady doesn’t come into school tomorrow because Janis isn’t sure that she can withstand having to confront her and apologise to Veronica on the same day. Even thinking about it makes her feel exhausted.


	16. I wish I could erase it

Janis awakes to Heather knocking on her door and sits up abruptly. Had she slept through her alarm? Was she late for school? A quick glance at the clock over her door tells her otherwise, and Janis frowns as the knocks sound again.

“I’m coming!” she calls, pushing back her covers and making her way across the room. She pulls the door open, and Heather gives her a small smile.

“There’s no school today. Power’s out apparently. Veronica is going to stay home with you,” Heather tells her and Janis’s heart sinks. “It’ll be a good time for you two to talk things out, don’t you think?”

“I don’t—I can’t—Why can’t you stay?” Janis fumbles over her words, still half asleep and now panicking.

“Because I couldn’t find anyone to cover my shift with such late notice,” Heather shrugs. She places a gentle hand on Janis’s shoulder. “Look, it’s not going to be as bad as you think it is. She loves you, Janis. She’s just waiting for an apology, that’s all.”

Janis sighs, running a hand over her face. “I know. I just don’t want to mess it up.”

Heather pats Janis’s shoulder before letting her hand drop to her side. “You can’t,” is all she says before she turns away.

Crawling back into bed, Janis turns off her alarm and decides to go back to sleep for a couple of hours. She’s exhausted, and facing Veronica right now whilst she’s half asleep isn’t exactly a good idea. She’ll do it later, give her the card and make something up on the spot. If only Damian were here to give her a boost of confidence. She’d message him but her laptop is on the other side of the room, and she’s too lazy to get it, and Veronica has her phone downstairs. Flopping back against her pillow she stares up at the ceiling, eyebrows furrowed and mind racing.

Okay, so maybe she’s not going back to sleep.

She props her pillows up and leans back on them, arms crossed as she stares at the wall ahead. She can see the card on her desk out of the corner of her eye and it’s taunting. Damian would probably tell her that she was being melodramatic about the whole thing, and maybe she is, but it’s kind of important and she’s been putting it off for way too long. And maybe that’s made it worse, she isn’t sure. But if Veronica is super pissed then Janis won’t blame her.

Janis can feel her hands shaking as she finally gathers the courage to get out of bed. She takes an agonisingly long time to choose an outfit, an age in the shower and sets her hairdryer on one of the lowest settings so that it takes longer to dry. She messages Damian on her laptop, and he wishes her good luck and tells her to stop stalling. She doesn’t listen to him of course, but then again, Janis hasn’t been the best at taking advice.

Otherwise, she’d have listened to Cady and never would have thrown the party in the first place.

When she finally makes her way downstairs, Veronica barely glances up from her laptop. Janis hovers in the doorway, her hands shoved into her pocket as she attempts to speak but finds that nothing can get past the lump in her throat.

“Get your shoes and coat on,” Veronica says eventually. “Waffle houses are the best places to talk things out.”

* * *

So they end up sitting in a booth at the closest waffle house. The ride over was awkward, neither of them addressing the elephant in the room and instead choosing to awkwardly ask each other about work and school and make small talk that was better suited to a pair of strangers. The card sits in Janis’s coat pocket, but she doesn’t have the courage to pull it out and give it to Veronica when she was there. She couldn’t deal with the woman reading it right in front of her.

“Janis,” Veronica starts once they’ve placed their orders. “I’m not angry at you anymore. Maybe a little disappointed, sure, but I’ve had time to think it over and you’re just a kid—”

“I’m 16!”

“—and I, for sure, did worse things when I was around your age,” Veronica shakes her head a little. “I just want to know why you did it.”

“I dunno,” Janis shrugs, squirming under Veronica’s gaze. “I just—you know everything about me and I wanted to know something about you for once. Maybe not the right things but I—you were all being so secretive over it, y’know, and I was curious.”

“Right,” Veronica nods. “But why didn’t you just ask us?”

Janis raises her eyebrows, holding back a scoff. “I did! You lied to me about it and then Heather told me to drop it. So I didn’t talk about it with you again.”

“So you went behind our backs instead?” Veronica says, tilting her head a little.

“Geez, when you say it like that…” Janis half-jokes, leaning back against the seat and rubbing the back of her neck. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to cause all this chaos. Really. And I’m sorry that I hurt you and Heather, I’m sorry that I went behind your backs, I’m sorry that I got drunk and said those things, and I’m sorry that I took so long to apologise.”

There’s a stretch of silence once their food is served and Janis seizes the opportunity to drench her waffle in syrup and sugar packets and avoid speaking whilst she was busy shoving food into her mouth.

“I forgive you, Janis,” Veronica says eventually. “And I’m glad that you’ve owned up to everything.”

“Thanks,” Janis shrugs, looking down at her waffle.

“But there are still other people that you have to apologise to,” Janis looks up at that, frowning. “Heather. She was still hurt by what you did, no matter how well she hides it. Heather Duke and Martha too.”

Oh. That makes sense. Janis, selfishly, hadn’t even thought about apologising to them. But she should and she will because she’d used them for her own gain.

“Okay.”

“If you want we can stop by their houses on the way home,” Veronica suggests. Janis nods. “And you can apologise to Heather when she gets home from work.”

Janis doesn’t know what to say, so she just shrugs. She might’ve apologised to Veronica and got that out of the way, but she was just starting to realise how many people her shitty plan had hurt and affected. It’s making her feel worse minute by minute and she abruptly excuses herself from the table to head to the bathroom. She splashes her face with water when she gets in there, breath trembling as she attempts to calm herself down.

Instinctively, her hand reaches into her pocket to grab her phone and call Damian but when she remembers that Veronica still has her phone it’s almost enough to make her cry. Only the door swinging open and another woman walking in stops her from bursting into tears right there.

Damian would tell her to calm down, so she takes a couple of deep breaths and splashes her face again for good measure. Blotting her face dry with some paper towels, she straightens up and heads back out so that she doesn’t make Veronica worry.

She forces herself to finish the waffles and follows Veronica back to the car once they’re finished. Veronica attempts to engage Janis in conversation whilst they’re driving to Heather Duke’s house, but Janis is uninterested and focuses on the blurring scenery instead. Eventually, Veronica gives up and turns on the radio and Janis lets her head drop against the window, feeling worse.

The apologies she gives to Heather Duke and Martha are accepted, and they make up with hugs. Martha invites them in and Janis ends up sat in an armchair awkwardly listening to Veronica and Martha reliving their high school days. Janis doesn’t know if the conversation is for her benefit—Veronica is trying her hardest to keep the conversation on topic, and Janis doesn’t miss the glances in her direction—but her mind is buzzing too much to actually concentrate and take in what they’re saying.

“Are you alright?” Veronica asks quietly when Martha leaves the room to refill their drinks.

“Yeah,” Janis lies. “Just tired.”

“We’ll leave soon and then you can go home a have a nap,” Veronica smiles. “It’s a hard day with not having to go to school, huh?”

“Yeah.” But Janis isn’t sure whether she’d rather be at school or here. Both are shitty, but at least things are mostly resolved here. Janis hasn’t had a chance to talk to Cady for days, and she’s starting to wonder whether she ever will. She wouldn’t put it past Cady to take a leaf out of Regina’s books and just completely cut her out from here on out.

* * *

Janis heads straight for her room when they get in. She doesn’t even bother to take her shoes or coat off, flopping on top of her covers with them still on. It’s gross and she knows it, but she can’t find it within herself to care. She’s just so exhausted that it takes her less than ten minutes to fall asleep.

She’s disorientated when she wakes up. Her shoes have been taken off and her jacket has been replaced with a blanket. Groggily, she pushes herself up on her elbows and rolls over so she’s on her back. There’s a glass of water by her bed which she downs and then gets up, stretching before she pads across the room and pulls her door open.

She hadn’t thought to check the clock in her room, so she checks the one in the hallway instead. It’s almost 6 PM which means that she’d slept most of the day but also that Heather would be home soon and Janis could make what was hopefully her last apology. Except maybe to Cady if the other girl could find the courage to face her at some point. And to Damian too for dragging him into this mess, although Janis wasn’t worried about that one at all.

“Good evening,” Veronica greets her as she descends the stairs. “I’m just heading out to grab something for dinner. Are you good being home alone for a little?”

“Fine with me,” Janis shrugs.

“Cool. Heather should be back soon,” Veronica says. “Also your phone is on the coffee table in the living room. I know you were supposed to have it whilst you were at school, and I was going to give it back during ‘school hours’ but we were busy and then you were asleep. Heather and I agreed that you could have it until you go to bed, and then we’ll take it back. “

“Thanks.” Janis rubs her eyes. Finally she can call Damian.

Janis waves Veronica off and then quickly grabs her phone. She wastes no time in calling Damian, pinning the phone between her ear and shoulder as she gets another glass of water from the kitchen along with a snack.

“’Sup?” Damian answers. “How’d it go with the card?”

“Haven’t given it to her yet,” Janis says, having to put in more concentration that was probably needed by most people in order to climb the stairs without dropping anything. “But she took me to a waffle house this morning and I apologised there. I might give her the card before I go to bed or something, I don’t really know.”

“That’s fair,” Damian says. “My mom says I need to come over and apologise at some point too, so can I join you one day after school?”

“Sure thing,” Janis nods even though he can’t see her. “But you shouldn’t really be the one apologising. It was all on me, and I have to apologise to you—”

“Shut up Janis, no you don’t,” Damian huffs. “Listen, all three of us came up with that plan and all three of us helped to execute it. It’s all of our faults, not just yours.”

Janis doesn’t say anything.

“Have you spoken to Cady yet?” Is Damian’s next question.

“No. And I don’t know if I will,” Janis answers, placing her glass and plate down on her desk before putting her phone on loudspeaker.

“What do you mean?”

“Damian, how can I get mad at her for going behind our backs when I did the same thing to Heather and Veronica?” She sighs. “It just makes me a hypocrite.”

There’s a stretch of silence before Damian speaks up again. “You have the right to be mad at her, Janis whether you did it to Heather and Veronica or not,” he says and Janis scoffs. “No. I’m serious. They had the right to be mad at you, didn’t they? And they were. So you have the right to be mad at her for what she did.”

“But—”

“Janis, no buts. I love Caddy, and I don’t think she did it to hurt us but that doesn’t change the fact that she did,” he sounds angry, and Janis is a little taken aback. “And I think that her ignoring us shows that she knows what she’s done. If you don’t speak to her soon then I will on your behalf. It’s easy for her to pin this all on you, but she had a hand in it too.”

“I guess so,” Janis sighs. “If she’s at school tomorrow I’ll talk to her then. I promise.”

“Good.”

A knock at the door pulls her from the conversation and she leaves her phone upstairs as she heads to let Heather or Veronica in. When she pulls the door open and she’s greeted by neither of them, she lets out a mumbled “hold on” and closes the door again before racing upstairs.

“Damian!” She yells breathlessly, seizing her phone. “You need to get over here now. Caddy’s at the door.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)  
> it's been a hot minute, huh?


	17. Making it right

Janis doesn’t go downstairs and open the door again until she sees Damian leave from her bedroom window. When his front door opens and he steps out, Janis lets the curtains fall back into place and heads downstairs again, standing with a hand on the door handle until she hears Damian greet Cady. It’s stupid, she knows, and Cady’s probably freezing, but she’s had too much time to think over the past couple of days and she doesn’t think that she can handle Cady alone.

“We have to go up to my room and we have to be quick,” Janis instructs when she pulls open the door. “No!” she stops Cady from toeing her boots off and hanging up her scarf. “Heather and Veronica aren’t here and you know that you’re not supposed to be over. If they see your shit here when they get back then they’ll be mad. They’ll think I invited you over just ‘cause they were gone or something.”

“I can tell them that it was my idea to come,” Cady says. “I mean, it’s the truth so…”

“I think you’ve told them enough,” Damian mumbles and Cady’s cheeks turn bright red.

They end up sat on Janis’s bed, the door closed and locked. Janis isn’t quite sure what they’re going to do when Heather and Veronica get back but they’ll figure it out when the front door opens she assumes. Damian and Cady have climbed through Janis’s window once and she’s sure they can climb out of it just as easy. That or Janis just takes the blame and gets into even more trouble. At this point she’s going to be grounded until she’s 20.

“So what do you want?” Damian asks, his eyes narrowed at Cady. Janis nudges him discreetly and his gaze softens but Cady still looks as if she’s going to cry.

“I came to apologise,” she says eventually, picking at the loose threads on Janis’s duvet cover. “I know what I did was wrong and I probably landed you in even deeper shit than you were already in,” she glances up at Janis. “And I know that skipping school and everything just made it worse and I’m just… I’m really sorry and I know that I’ve hurt you both so if you don’t want to be friends anymore I totally get that. I betrayed you guys.”

Janis glances at Damian once Cady’s stopped speaking, searching for something to say. She wants to tell Cady that it’s okay and that she forgives her, really wants to, but that would be lying and like Damian had said on the phone—Janis has the right to be mad at her.

“Why did you do it?” Is what she settles on asking. “You had to have known that it would get me in even more trouble. And you even told them that we were planning to do something about Regina which means that that’s going to be even harder to do now.”

“You’re still thinking about doing that?” Cady asks, raising her eyebrows at Janis. Janis just stares back, tilting her head when Cady doesn’t answer her question. “Okay. Fine,” Cady huffs after about three minutes of staring, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know why I did it. It just felt like the right thing to do at the time. I didn’t—it wasn’t intended to get you into trouble.”

Even though she hadn’t expected it to be, Janis still feels a little better hearing Cady say that. She believes it, even if Damian looks a little sceptical, but she can’t help but think that Cady must have known that it would get her in trouble. It wasn’t as if Cady could have told them all of that and then thought that Janis would get off scot free.

“Look,” Cady continues. “You don’t have to believe me and you don’t have to forgive me, I get it. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry and that it was wrong of me and I recognise that. You’re right to be angry at me, both of you, and I haven’t exactly made this any better by trying to avoid this conversation. I just—I didn’t know how to apologise and I know that I’m doing a shitty job at it right now but—”

“Caddy I’m not going to pretend that you haven’t hurt me,” Janis says, holding up a hand to stop her rambling. “But I do believe that you didn’t mean to. And I know how hard it is to apologise—trust me, I’ve just been there—so thanks for finally admitting it,” she glances at Damian who gives her a small nod. “I’ll forgive you. I—we need to talk about it a little more when we're not in danger of getting caught together, but yeah. I'll forgive. Just please don’t do it again?”

“Thank you, Janis. I won’t,” Cady whispers and Janis can see the tears welling in her eyes. “I promise.”

And Janis feels as if a weight has been lifted from her shoulders as she leans forward and pulls both Damian and Cady into a hug. Maybe it wasn’t her choice to talk to Cady today but either way, she’s managed to make it through both forgiving Cady and apologising to Veronica in the same day. In her opinion she deserves a fucking medal.

But the hug is cut short when the front door slams and Janis’s name is called up the stairs. Janis pulls away from them both as Veronica starts to climb the stairs and there’s a brief moment of panic as Janis realises that there isn’t time for them to climb out of her window. Instead she gets up, ushering them both into her closet which is the only hiding place in her room. She tries not to laugh at Damian’s whispered “not again” and wipes the tears from her cheeks as she unlocks her door and gets ready for Veronica to knock.

“I got halfway to the store and decided fuck it, we’d order in,” Veronica says when Janis pulls the door open, trying to act naturally as if her two best friends weren’t stuffed in her closet. “What do you want?”

“Uh, I don’t mind,” Janis shrugs, aware of the faint shuffling noise. If they get caught because they can’t stay quiet Janis is going to kill them. “Pizza?”

“Sure. What toppings?”

“Just pepperoni,” Janis says hurriedly, clearing her throat. “Thanks.”

“Is everything okay?” Veronica asks, poking her head around the door. Fuck.

“Yeah. Just fine. Can I go back to doing my homework, please? I’ve got an essay due tomorrow that I’ve only just started.”

Veronica tuts at Janis, tells her to be more on top of her homework, but does leave. Janis closes her door, letting out a sigh of relief as her closet door creaks open and Damian and Cady emerge. She doesn’t even have the energy to complain that they were being too loud, and it doesn’t matter anyway because if Veronica noticed then she hadn’t said anything. She just gestures to her window and the pair of them seem to get the hint.

Cady presses a kiss to Janis’s forehead before she leaves, promising that she’ll make this all up to Janis at some point, and Damian gives her a hug. Janis watches as they climb out of her window, urging them to hurry up before Heather pulls up and catches them. She makes Cady promise to text her when she gets home and stays at her window until Damian gets in safely. Then she falls back on her bed, presses her face into her pillow and lets out a muffled scream because today has been one of the most stressful days in a while. But then it’s over. Just like all of this. Cady has apologised, Janis has apologised, and maybe it might take a bit of time for everything to settle down and return to what it was before everything, but it’s well on it’s way to being okay again.

Janis is well on her way to being okay again and she thinks about that until she’s called down for dinner. 

* * *

Heather doesn’t arrive until after Janis and Veronica have eaten. She looks flustered as she enters the living room, a slice of pizza in hand, but she smiles when she sees Janis leaning against Veronica as they watch a film.

“I’m glad you two have made up,” she says as she takes a seat, mouthing an ‘I told you’ to Janis.

Janis just grins in response and Veronica squeezes her shoulder. “We’re all good. She apologised to Heather and Martha too,” Veronica shifts so that she’s sitting up and Janis follows suit. “But there’s still one more person that she needs to say sorry to.”

And Janis is confused for a few seconds until she follows Veronica’s gaze to where Heather is sitting. Of course.

“I’m sorry Heather,” she says, getting up from her seat to give the other woman a hug. “Sorry for going behind your back like that. It was wrong of me and I won’t do it again.”

“That’s okay, Janis. I forgive you,” Heather says, giving her a hug in return.

“There’s actually something that I’ve been meaning to give you,” Janis says, glancing between both of the women. “It was supposed to be a present for you birthday, Veronica, but I think it’s a bit late for that.”

She doesn’t stick around to hear their response and takes the stairs two at a time. The painting is still in her closet and she’s thankful to see that it’s covering the one she’s currently working on with her, Damian and Cady. It’s not really a surprise for them, but she wouldn’t have been too happy if they’d spotted it earlier. She grabs the painting that she wants and looks at it one more time before she grabs the letter from her desk and heads back downstairs.

Why she feels nervous as she approaches the living room again she doesn’t know, but the nervousness dissolves when she turns the painting to show her foster moms and their faces light up. It makes her feel happier than she has in a while, and she hands it to Veronica when then woman makes grabby hands for it. Her face heats up as they study it, and Janis likes the attention but she can’t help but feel that they’re making a bigger fuss than needed; it’s one of Janis’s best paintings if she does say so herself, but it’s not exactly extraordinary.

“This is beautiful Janis,” Veronica says eventually, looking up with tears in her eyes. “We need to hang it somewhere. Maybe in the hallway, so people can see it when they come in?”

“I—Uh, that’s not necessary,” Janis laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. “But I’m glad that you like it. Really, I am.”

She goes in for the offered hugs and then takes a few seconds in the hallway to collect herself before handing the letter to Veronica. The woman looks surprised and Janis doesn’t leave any time for questions before bolting upstairs. She ignores the first and second set of knocks at her door and waits until she’s sure neither of them are upstairs before she heads to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

When she returns to her room she turns the light off and crawls under the covers, pretending to be asleep when her door creaks open a couple of minutes later. Veronica hesitates in the doorway, softly calling out Janis’s name.

“I know you’re awake,” she says when Janis doesn’t respond. “You can’t fall asleep that quickly,” Janis still doesn’t move. “Well, I just want to say thank you for the letter. I don’t know why you’re scared to acknowledge it, but I appreciate it a lot. I love you, Janis. Goodnight and sleep tight.”

Then Janis is left alone, her door shutting behind Veronica.

Janis thinks she knows why she’s scared to acknowledge it; writing it down makes things final. Saying that she loves Veronica is different to actually writing it. It makes it concrete, something that Janis can’t really take back, and that’s scary. But she doesn’t really regret it because it is the truth after all. But writing it down isn’t really something Janis has done before for foster parents. She wouldn’t even sign off birthday cards with ‘love, Janis’ because it felt weird to her.

Writing it for Veronica didn’t feel weird, though, although handing it to her did. Probably because she’s never done it before, not since her parents were alive anyway. And having Veronica read it feels weird, too, to know that she has the words written in Janis’s handwriting to read over and over again, but it feels good too. Janis can’t deny that.

And surprisingly, Janis thinks that today has been a good day. Rough, sure, and definitely tiring, but all in all it’s been good and she falls asleep smiling once again. Something she hasn’t done in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Love that for Janis!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Also, updates will be once a week on Sundays from now on! :)


	18. For the better

The school doesn’t get power for the next two days. Janis keeps busy with the work being emailed to them, finishing a few pieces of homework in the time off as well. It’s not all that exciting, but she has nothing better to do considering that she’s still grounded and unable to hang out with Damian and Cady who meet up on the second day.

She begs Heather to be able to go, but she’s met with a firm no (although she’s given back her phone until ‘school hours’ end) and sulks back to her room, spending the next two hours ignoring the texts and snapchats she gets from both Damian and Cady. Instead, she works on her painting of the three of them. It’s almost done, and she isn’t sure what she’s going to do with it once she’s finished but hanging it on her wall sounds like a good idea maybe.

Janis ends up covered in paint by the time Heather calls her down for lunch. She washes up in the bathroom as best as she can and quickly heads downstairs to eat.

Heather chuckles as she enters, looking her up and down. “How’d you manage to get paint in your hair?”

“Dunno,” Janis shrugs. Wrinkling her nose as she looks down at her plate. “Why have you made salad for lunch?”

“It’s healthy,” Heather says, handing her some cutlery. Janis stabs at a shred of carrot. “Surely it’s better than the cafeteria food?”

“Debatable.” Janis teases. Heather rolls her eyes and ruffles Janis’s hair before she manages to move away.

There’s not really a lot to talk about so they eat mostly in a comfortable silence. Janis helps to wash up and then heads back to her room once more where she resumes painting, a picture of the three pulled up on her phone to reference. She wasn’t intending to finish it today, but that’s what ends up happening, and she takes a step back from the finished product. She’s proud of it, and the other two are going to love it.

Then, Heather appears at her door asking for her phone back. Janis hands It over after finally looking at the snapchats and replying to the group text. She tells them to knock for her earlier tomorrow because she has something to show them.

But now she has no projects left; she’s finished both of the paintings she’d been working on and, whilst it feels relieving to have finally finished, she has to stop herself from reaching towards one of the blank canvases in the corner of her room to start something new. She jumps in the shower just as she hears the front door open and quickly washes the paint from her hands, arms and hair (she truly has no idea how it got there, but it seems to happen every single time she paints something).

Janis climbs out just as Veronica calls her and she yells down a quick response whilst pulling on her pyjamas and wrapping her hair in a towel. She’s halfway down the stairs when she hears a few voices that aren’t Heather’s and Veronica’s and feels a little out of place as she enters her kitchen in what she’s wearing. There are four more adults at the table than usual, and she grimaces at Veronica who makes eye contact with her across the room.

It wasn’t that she minded people coming over, she couldn’t stop Veronica and Heather hanging out with their friends, that wasn’t fair, but she’d appreciate a heads up at least. Besides, it wasn’t like it was Heather or Martha coming over. Janis had never seen these people in her life.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you that I was having company tonight,” Veronica says, guiding her out of the kitchen by her elbow. “It’s just a couple of co-workers, and they won’t be staying long but I’ve talked to Ms. Hubbard and she’s said that you’re fine to sleep over there for tonight if you want.”

Veronica doesn’t have to repeat herself twice. Janis is quickly shoving on some shoes and running upstairs to get her backpack and a change of clothes for tomorrow morning.

She’s handed back her phone before she dashes across the road and Damian pulls open the front door before she’s even stepped foot on the path. He engulfs her in a hug when she steps onto his porch and she hugs back just as tightly until Ms. Hubbard is ushering them inside.

“Mario Kart in the basement?” Damian suggests and Janis nods enthusiastically. “God I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Janis grins. “I don’t really know what I expected but I kinda hoped that they would just forget about the whole grounding thing, y’know? I mean the phone thing isn’t all that bad, but it sucks not being able to hang out with people.”

“I mean, they let you come here so…”

“Yeah, but that’s only because they forgot to tell me that they were having people over,” Janis shrugs. “I’m not complaining, but it wasn’t because I’ve been on my best behaviour or anything. Still grounded.”

“I told my mom about it in the end and got three months of extra chores but I’d rather have that than be grounded,” Damian sticks his tongue out and Janis kicks him as they settle on the worn sofa. “I also still have to apologise.”

“You can do it tomorrow morning if you want,” Janis says. “Get it out of the way before we go to school.”

“Yes please.” Damian nods, handing her a Wii remote.

They play for three hours, until Ms. Hubbard comes down and tells them to start getting ready for bed. Since Janis is already dressed in her pyjamas all she has to do is brush out her damp hair and brush her teeth before she and Damian cram onto his single bed. They stay up until God knows what hour whispering, and it’s then that the topic of their revenge plan against Regina is brought up.

“It’s still on the cards, right?” Damian asks.

“Of course,” Janis answers and she’s not completely sure that she still wants to do it but it can’t backfire as massively as the last one, right? “But it’ll have to be once I’m ungrounded, ‘cause we can’t exactly plan much at this point. Maybe a tiny bit on the bus, but even that’s risky. High school kids are incapable of minding their own business.”

“That sucks but I guess you’re right,” Damian nods. “But that gives us times to come up with plenty of ideas, I guess. How long are you grounded for?”

“Dunno,” Janis says. “I’ll ask tomorrow morning. Probably like two more weeks or something. A month at the most.”

“A month?!” Damian whines. “That’s way too much time to think about something like this. Do you think that Cady will even still be with the Plastics in a month? Surely that’s too much to ask of her.”

“Well, she does kind of owe us,” Janis shrugs. “But like I said, that’s worst case scenario. And I’m sure I can talk them down from it. I can cry on cue y’know and that worked for having you guys over during my migraine.”

“I suppose so,” Damian yawns, shifting so that he has an arm around Janis’s shoulders. “We should probably sleep.”

“Probably.”

“Night loser.”

“Night, Damian.”

* * *

The next morning is a bit of a rush because they manage to oversleep. Damian is trying to put gel in his hair as he scarfs down his breakfast and Janis finds herself brushing her teeth and getting dressed at the same time.

They manage it, though, and they run across the road just as Cady knocks on the door. Heather opens it and looks a little surprised as they all filter in and Janis explains that she wants to show them something before herding Cady up to her room, leaving Damian to give his apology.

“I love it!” Cady squeals as Janis pushes her door open, gesturing over to the canvas. “How long did it take you?”

“Not too long,” Janis shrugs and stands back a little as Damian enters, giving her a thumbs up. It takes him a while to spot the painting but when he does he squeals.

“You’re so talented,” he says, pulling her into a hug. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Janis grins, and Cady lets out a yell as she spots the school bus out of the window.

It’s another rush to get out of the house and across the road before the doors shut but thankfully they’re able to get on. They collapse breathlessly in their seats and Janis lets her head fall onto Damian’s shoulder. Cady sits a few seats back, aware of the attention on them after almost missing the bus, and communicates with them in their group chat.

Realising she’d forgot to do it when they were there, she quickly texts both Heather and Veronica to ask how long she’s grounded for. Veronica calls her not long after and tells her that it’s going to be at least another week but that she’ll get her phone back in two days. Janis just thanks her and hangs up to let Damian know that the revenge plan can get rolling sooner than they’d planned.

He’s ecstatic and does a little dance in his seat that makes Janis laugh. They haven’t talked to Cady about the plan, but they text her anyway letting her know that they can start planning soon and she texts back a bunch of question marks and then a ‘didn’t you learn your lesson from the last plan?’

She had, but this situation wasn’t the same as the last. It wasn’t her being nosy or disrespectful, it was her getting revenge on someone who has been tormenting her for years. Even when she wasn’t in the are she had to put up with the nightmares and the instagram posts and the snapchat rants where her name would be sprinkled in amongst other people who Regina dislikes.

“It’s not as if this plan can backfire like the last one did,” she says, hands on Cady’s shoulders. “It’s just revenge. We pull a stupid prank on Regina that in no way equals out the bullying but that’s funny and makes people laugh at her for a day or so, get like a weeks worth of detention and then go back to how it was normally. It’s no biggie.”

“I don’t know…” Cady grimaces. “It seems a little mean.”

“Mean?” Janis raises her eyebrows. “If you think that wanting to get revenge is mean then wait until you hear all of the shit that Regina has subjected me to since I was 13. That’s mean. And she didn’t even stop after my parents died, Cady, nor when I moved away. When I first moved back here she dumped soup all over me, right Damian?”

“Right.”

“Regina George is pure evil, and it’s time that someone knocked her off of her pedestal,” Janis clenches her hands into fists. “And I know you’ve already told Veronica and Heather about this, and yeah they’ve banned me from doing it, but Regina isn’t going to learn if we keep letting her get away with it. The adults don’t have to know. Won’t know. I promise. And you don’t even have to be involved in the planning if you don’t want to—”

“I’m not going to let you two plan it on your own if I’m orchestrating it, Janis.”

“Okay then, you can be involved in the planning. And we won’t do anything that you’re uncomfortable with, I promise. It’ll be a harmless prank, that’s all,” and that’s all that Janis is intending for it to be. As much as she wants to hurt Regina as much as she hurt her, she knows that that’s just going to get her in way more trouble than it’s worth. “Look, Caddy, you’re our only way in.”

“Are you sure that it’s not going to hurt her?”

“I’ve already punched her once,” Janis presses a soft kiss to Cady’s lips. “I won’t do it again. Not if you don’t want me to.”

“Okay,” Cady sighs. “I’ll do it I guess. But only if it’s something small and harmless that won’t get us in too much trouble.”

“Thanks babe, you’re amazing.” Janis kisses her once more and then Cady’s phone buzzes.

“Speak of the devil,” she murmurs, squeezing Janis’s hand. “I gotta go. Both of you have a good day and I’ll talk to you later!”

Damian is beaming as they watch Cady walk away and they leave as soon as there’s a safe amount of distance between them and Cady.

Damian spends the whole of first period coming up with small things they can do, and they both work together at lunch. Some of them Janis has to rule out straight away because they’re a little much, but they end up with a list of ten by the end of the day. Janis’s favourite one so far is to have Cady convince Regina to have a sleepover one night and then let Janis and Damian in the house dressed in Halloween costumes once everyone is asleep and then record the reactions of the Plastics and post them online. Maybe it’s a little too much, although not compared to Damian’s suggestion to reenact that one scene from Carrie at Spring Fling, but Janis thinks it’s a good bet. It’s easy enough. There’s also the added bonus that it won’t get them in trouble with the school.

“I don’t like it,” Damian remarks, but he adds it to the list anyway. “And I doubt Cady will go for it.”

“She won’t,” Janis shrugs. “But you have to admit that it would be funny.”

Janis can’t wait until she’s ungrounded and they can all scheme together and come up with a final plan. Regina isn’t going to know what’s hit her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://love-janis-sarkisian.tumblr.com/)  
> Updates every Sunday at 9PM GMT/4PM EST! :)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [passengers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17760152) by [cadyjanis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadyjanis/pseuds/cadyjanis)




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